


Define My Limits

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-23
Updated: 2012-11-23
Packaged: 2017-11-19 08:33:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 23,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/571284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Louis have always hated each other, ever since the day Harry’s mother married Louis’ father. Being step-siblings was not easy. Being roommates in university? Even worse. AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

“I’m sorry, this is final. We are not made of money,” Anne bellowed, in yet another argument with her son. Harry growled lowly, turning his back to his mum.

“This is fucked up, you know how much we hate each other,” he stated, not concerned about his released angry behaviour. “I thought university I would be able to escape the constant ridicule Louis gives me, but no! He has to apply to the same fucking school, to the same fucking program and…ugh. He’s not even smart, how did he even get accepted?”

“Harry Edward Styles. Do I have to wash out your mouth?” Anne scolded, shaking her head. “You are sharing a room with Louis, it’s the only way we can afford to send both of you.”

He sighed loudly, melodramatically. He rotated to face his mother, the hurt look on her face said it all. Harry always had and always will have a special spot for his mom in his heart. He gave a small whimper-like noise, before crushing her in a hug. “I don’t want to disappoint you, Mom. I just hate…I hate him so, so much.”

“You guys have your moments,” Anne said lightly, smoothing down her son’s curly hair.

“Once in a blue moon, Mom. Honestly though, when is the last time we had a ‘moment’?” Harry mused, thinking for a second. “It’s been a very long time, I reckon. He’s always off playing footy anyways.”

“Think about it this way, Lou will be playing football a lot, while you could have the flat all to yourself,” Anne stated, freeing her son from her embrace. She placed her hand on the cup of his cheek.

“Are you saying what I think you are saying,“ Harry smirked, proudly. “You think Louis won’t focus on his schoolwork! Ha!”

“I never said that, hunny,” Anne looked shocked. “You do know Louis has been boasting about trying out for the team. I’m sure he will be out of your hair as soon as the term starts.”

“I cannot believe I’m moving away,” Harry said randomly. “I’m moving away. I won’t be five minutes away either, I’ll be two hours…”

“I’ll miss you, Harry. Don’t you forget it. I love you lots. I thought it was hard when Gemma moved out, but you as my last child in the house, this makes me…oh!” Anne wiped her eye, hastily drying her tears. Harry cooed.

“You’ll have the girls,” Harry reminded. “They’ll keep you busy, and I’ll call you every week, I promise. I love you too, Mum.”

-xx-

Louis grumbled, kicking his feet in the non-existent dirt in his living room. He could not believe this…horseshit. Rooming with Harry? That was ridiculous. “He’s honestly so annoying and he snores when he sleeps, Dad!”

“Get used to it,” Mark supplied, rolling his eyes at his son’s immature behaviour. “We have lived together for three years now, could you grow up a little? You are turning nineteen, not nine.”

“I frankly don’t give a rats ass, father. I wanted my own room when I moved to university,” Louis argued.

“Selfish, selfish boy you are. You know we aren’t made of money and maybe if you worked for two days in your life, you could afford your own place. But no, you chose to take the easy road and play footy in your time off instead of making money,” his Dad responded.

“Football is more important, Dad! I want to make the team. I could even get a scholarship for the next years if I make it and play well.”

“And where is football going to get you in life? Not very far.” Mark took his son by the shoulders, looking right into his eyes. “Listen to me. You have to work hard to go somewhere in life. Stop being a lazy shit and try.”

Louis bit his lip, refraining from speaking another word. In one sense, his father was right. But in another, he was wrong. He wanted to live his life, hang out with his friends, play football. Not studying all the time, going to the library, being a loner. Definitely not like Harry. Anything but being like Harry.

“Okay,” Louis finally said. “I guess I have to make you proud, being your only son and all…”

“You better make me proud, Lou.”

—xx—

It only took Harry all of three hours to pack all his stuff into many large duffel bags, but to him, it felt like an eternity. Should he bring this? Leave that? Needless to say, he wasn’t in the greatest mood. He should be happy. He was moving away from his family for the first time- as sad as it sounds. After stuffing his childhood teddy bear in the top of his last suitcase, he took a step back and observed his room. It looked…so bare.

He lifted a couple of his bags down the stairs, finding the front door open and the large family SUV in sight. Mark and Anne were packing what Harry assumed was Louis’ things into the back. Harry gawked. It looked like there would be absolutely no room for his stuff. He dropped his stuff and ran towards his parents. “Mom! Where is my stuff going to go?”

Anne turned around, teary-eyed, obviously crying. “Hunny. We are going to take two separate vehicles. You better appreciate this. I don’t want you boys fighting the entire trip down. I’m already upset and I don’t think Mark or I would want to hear it. So, you are driving with me and Lou is going down with his dad.”

“Oh thank god…”

“Move, fucking moron.”

When Louis was around, he made his presence known. And what better ways to do that then call Harry names and shout at the top of his lungs? Harry visibly cringed. “You’re the fucking moron, fucking moron. Thank god I don’t have to hear your voice the entire trip down.”

“Thank god I was a genius and asked Dad and Anne,” Louis retorted, rolling his eyes. “Better be thanking me.”

“Like hell,” Harry responded, moving up to get the rest of his bags from his room. Sometimes…no, all the time, he wonders how the hell he will survive with himself and in the same room as Louis. Only time will tell.

-xx-

Their dorm room was typical. A larger outer area with a small kitchenette and a living space, a bathroom right off the main foyer, and two separate rooms, each with a queen size bed. Harry immediately claimed the room closest to the bathroom, throwing his stuff on his bed, desk and floor. What surprised him, however, was Louis didn’t even argue with him. He just moved to the other room and set his stuff there.

“So, here is some money to stock the fridge and the cupboards for now. I expect you two to get jobs so you guys aren’t living on instant noodles every night. Don’t be afraid to call if you need anything,” Mark handed the money to Harry. “Seriously guys. I expect you two to be civil adults. You aren’t at home anymore. This won’t be easy.”

“Mark, don’t be so harsh. If you need anything, even if it’s just to do your laundry, please call me,” Anne said. She touched her son’s cheek with adoration in her eyes. “Well, we better be going…”

“Don’t worry, Anne. I’ll take great care of Hazza for you,” Louis smirked, glaring Harry’s way. Harry returned the gesture with a frown before hugging his mother tightly. Frankly, he did not want to let go. He was a momma’s boy at heart, even though he didn’t show it all the time. Eighteen and all alone, albeit not entirely alone, is something that absolutely terrified him.

The thought of facing something so huge without his mother…he just had to deal with it. Take it in stride. Avoid Louis and hope for the best.


	2. Chapter 1

Louis’ first day of school was interesting. And by interesting, he meant absolutely incredible. At the beginning of each year, all universities take part in orientation for their freshman to get to know the campus and the people. Orientation was something that Manchester University took pride in and all the new students had something exciting to look forward to apart from actual classes. It was an opportunity to meet people in your major and any coaches of sports teams in you were into those kinds of things. Louis was definitely interested. He exchanged a few casual e-mails between the head coach of Man U, which mostly led him to choose the university he did. Offering a conditional scholarship? Anything to get his own place.

When he finally met the coach, Edward, he was taken aback by just how nice he was. He was expecting a…strict coach. The laidback and carefree attitude did not match the winning record Manchester seemed to have. He shook his hand, said all the right words and Louis was convinced he won the heart of his future coach. That’s right.

What he didn’t enjoy, however, was the tours of the buildings. They had been paired off in alphabetical order by major and it just so happened that his step brother just had to be there. Tough luck, apparently. He refused to acknowledge Harry and stood or sat as far away as possible without looking extremely obvious. He did not need people to know that he was…related.

He made a few friends, Zayn, a boy older than him but had taken a gap year and was here on scholarship for the football team (noted; he must be good, stay in the good books with this one) and another boy, Liam, who was in the philosophy program and was thinking about minoring in music (oh, he wished he had the guts…).

After all the tours had finished, both Zayn and Liam had walked up to him. “Hey man, we are going to hit the bar, wanna join us?”

Lou smiled, “Sure!”

“I thought you might say that,” Zayn said. “The bar is only a block away.”

“As long as we are back on campus at approximate-“

“Liam, shut the hell up, I know we start class tomorrow. But give us a break!” Zayn interjected, swatting his friend playfully. “You’ll have to excuse Li, he doesn’t drink much and he likes school, so missing class is not an option for him, y’know?”

“Oh, you sound exactly like my-“ Lou stopped himself, frowning. Don’t bring up Harry so suddenly, Lou scolded himself. He’d rather not let his new friends know who the fuck his step-brother is. “This guy I know, back at home.”

Liam shrugged. “I’m different, that’s fine. He sounds pretty cool, though.”

Lou snorted, “Yeah, you can have him.”

“So Louis, you are trying out for the footy team, right?” Zayn asked, but didn’t give him a chance to answer. “That’s so awesome. You can be my running partner and we can be buddies all through tryouts. Fuck yeah!”

“Yeah, sure Zayn,” Louis agreed. He silently thanked his new friend for volunteering so easily. Now he was a little less nervous for when the tryouts come up, at least he’ll know somebody. “What position do you play?”

“I play defense, but my coach in secondary school threw me in midfield and sometimes, I was goalkeeper when our good one was away or some shit,” Zayn explained.

“Right on, I’m a center, guess we won’t have to compete much for a starting position,” Lou winked. “Congratulations on the scholarship, by the way, that’s fucking awesome, mate!”

Zayn smiled and Liam looked absolutely bored. Lou glanced over to his side and spotted Harry’s eyes on the trio. He glared back before turning to his new mates, excited to have his first university drink of the year.

—x—

Louis didn’t come back to the flat room until the wee hours of the morning. Harry didn’t care all too much, only when his idiot of a step-brother thought it was smart to walk through the rooms causing an absolutely racket. Harry just growled lowly before throwing his head back into his pillow. He knew it, Lou was going to waste away his university year. It’s been less than twenty four hours and he’s already been so shitfaced he could barely walk.

When the sun arose above the skyline, Harry was up and ready to go with his day. As he reached for his phone at the side of his bed, he smiled to himself. One Message from: Mommy.

Hey hunni, hope you have a fantastic day in your classes! Tell me all about it when you get a chance.

 

But if Harry expected anything apart from the obvious good grades and paying attention in class, it was making a friend. Just one. He didn’t need to be greedy, he wasn’t Louis. He knew that without someone, his university experience would be an absolute hellhole, to put things rather bluntly. He went all psychology and economics without speaking one word.

He was excessively shy.

He looked around, don’t get him wrong. He didn’t notice anyone particularly friendly and the fact that he sat near the front probably did not help either. He had only one more class of the day-social development studies. It was a new course offered at Man U and Harry, being a huge risk taker (pfft), decided and thought…why not. He even took the chance to sit near the back.

He had a boy staring at him that entire period. Bloody fucking hell. He ducked his head down, flushing a deep red whenever he turned and saw the mysterious boy looking at him with such intensity. His short blonde hair, crooked teeth whenever he smiled, and those bright blue eyes caught Harry’s attention though. He tried a smile, but it just came out as an awkward drawl of the lips. He only sat a few seats away, albeit two rows or so lower. And why he was looking up and not at the teacher, Harry wouldn’t and didn’t understand. The glare he was getting though, it was really creeping him out.

When the professor dismissed his class, Harry packed up his laptop and his other necessities into his shoulder bag. He wasn’t paying attention when he was getting up though, because he ran straight into…”What the hell?”

“Ah, sorry mate!”

Harry looked up, distraught. “You’re the one who’s been staring at me in class!”

Oops. Harry blushed profusely, not meaning for that to come out of his mouth so quickly. The other boy seemed to have been embarrassed as well, he turned his head, grabbing the back of his neck and chuckled lowly. “Yeah, sorry about that. I was just trolling around the class, looking for something interesting to look at. And you know what, mate? You seem pretty damn interestin’!”

Harry smiled slightly. The boy talked so fast and on top of that, with an Irish accent, which made everything a little harder to understand. “Uhm, yeah. I-uh, thanks?”

“I’m Niall. You know, pronounced that that fuckin’ long river in Egypt or something. Fucking hate it when you call me Neil, so don’t you even dare. What’s your name, buddy?” Niall said, grinning.

“I’m- I’m Harry,” he stuttered, surprise, surprise. “Nice to meet you, Niall.”

He ended up walking with Niall all the way out to his flat. Niall just followed him, sort of like a hopeless puppy. Harry didn’t mind yet, yet being a key word. If he was like his all the time, Harry wasn’t sure how much of the hyper boy he could take. As he took out his key and unlocked the door, all he heard was singing from the bathroom.

Niall gave him a weird look, and Harry just shrugged. He tossed the keys on the table and jumped on the sofa in their small ‘living’ room. “That’s my step brother, Louis. He’s ridiculously obnoxious and he’s a pompous ass. Don’t mind him. He was out drinking last night.”

“Ahh, doubt he went to class then, mate?” Niall asked, opening the cupboards as if he owned the place. “Got any food, I’m starving!”

“God Niall,” Harry groaned. “We just moved in yesterday, don’t have much. Fancy a bowl of cereal? Top shelf above the sink, I think.”

As Niall poured himself some cereal, Louis was coming out of the bathroom, scantily clad in a towel. He walked briskly towards his own room before doing a double take. He stared at Harry, then to Niall who had his back turned to him. He sent Harry a one-up, confused. All Harry did was stare blankly back at him. No words were exchanged.

Niall turned around slightly, catching a glimpse of Harry’s step brother. He nearly choked, but neither of the other boys saw. After Louis shut his door behind him, Niall twisted to Harry’s direction, his mouth wide open. “Mate, your step brother is fucking hot!”

Harry’s face blanched. So it was clear Niall was attracted to blokes. Alright, he could deal with that. But a friend being interested in Louis? No fucking way. “Ew, what the hell?” Harry yelled. “Don’t tell me things like that!”

“How could you not notice? I mean, I know you are…no, you aren’t even related,” Niall stopped and questioned himself midsentence. Harry just shook his head. “Wait, you aren’t gay?”

“Uhh…”

“I just notice these things, don’t worry. You aren’t obvious. Me instincts are great,” Niall grinned, his Irish accent prominent.

“I feel like I’ve known you for years, not hours,” Harry admitted. “I haven’t told many people and you already know one of my secrets.”

“We are gonna be best buds, yeeeah buddy,” Niall said. Harry just smiled, letting out a literal breath of relief in the thoughts of actually having a friend for once. A friend who wouldn’t judge him.


	3. Chapter 2

“So, I heard you were talking about me last night after my shower, Hazza,” Louis mocked, fingering his hair lightly. “Your friend seems a bit crazy, to be quite honest”

Harry blushed. Had he really heard that? After Niall suspected Harry’s sexuality, Niall continued to talk openly about Louis. When Louis came out though, Niall just subjected himself to no names, yet the eyes that racked Harry’s step-brother’s body was another story. “Yeah, he’s a wee bit gay.”

Louis deadpanned, sarcastically. “Like I didn’t notice. Very Irish, sometimes I can’t understand the lad. Keep him away from me, he’s attractive, but he’s not my type.”

Harry just furrowed his brows, shaking off his comment. He packed up his backpack and was out the dorm room door in a flash, without any words or goodbyes.

He only had two classes on Tuesdays, Anthro and Legal Studies. When he walked in, he immediately noticed the dark-haired boy Louis was talking to a few days prior. Harry just darted his eyes away and walked to the middle row, planting himself in a chair, getting out his laptop for the lesson.

Louis came in only a few moments later and Harry made it a point to seemingly ignore that he was there. Louis just smirked, glad…for once, Harry was on the same page. So far, only one person here knew they were related. Harry sort of hoped Niall would walk in the door, all doe-eyed and ready for the day, but he never showed.

Louis had sat beside Zayn, giving him a clap on the back. Zayn just glared at him, clearly not a morning person. He did give a light head nod before shifting his body towards the front again. ‘Mental note. Don’t bug Zayn when he’s grumpy.’

Anthropology went by without a hitch. Harry sat quietly and Louis made it a point to get himself noticed, always the centre of attention. The professor was pissed off Louis kept speaking throughout or making snarly remarks, but Harry reminded himself, that’s so Louis.

Niall was, however, in Harry’s Legal Studies class. And there, he also met one of Niall’s childhood friends, Sean. Harry had to take a step back, because god, that boy was gorgeous. By the end of the class, Harry had the numbers of both Niall (he forgot to get it the night before) and Sean. Sean gave him a little wink and Harry was absolutely sure he was going to melt on the spot.

It wasn’t his fault he felt like a puddle whenever Sean gave him even the slightest look, he had just never gotten that attention like this from a boy, in well, a very long time. The only constant boy in his life, apart from his dad and Mark, was Louis. Ever since he met Louis when he moved from his little town of Holmes Chapel in Cheshire to Doncaster, Louis had treated him like nothing but dirt. Harry was smart, what Louis called a keener. Louis slacked, barely making the grades. Harry wasn’t very involved in sports, but Louis playing football, rugby and ran a little track. Louis couldn’t understand why Harry was the way he was and Harry resented him for that. So excuse him for feeling good about himself when a boy talked to him and showed a general interest in what he had to say for once in his life.

Niall seemed to enjoy the little show Harry put on whenever Sean was around. He brought it up when they were in the library a month later since meeting. Harry recalled Niall starting off with the classic, “You’re like…whipped!”

In which Harry quickly denied.

“What, no!”

“When I first met you, you did not act like this, Harry Styles. I see how it is,” Niall fake-sniffed, but then grinned proudly. “You like my best friend! Awe, this is cute!”

“I-uh, no!” Harry blushed, unable to form any coherent words. Niall just shook his head in an understanding. Harry just got redder. “So midterm exams are coming up-“

“Don’t change the subject!” Niall interjected, mock-gasping. “I want to gossip, let me!”

“It’s been a month into the term, I need to focus. Unlike my step-brother, who has done nothing but drink with these two guys-“

“Liam and Zayn, nice lads.”

“Uh, never actually met them. Louis and I have this thing where we ignore each other apart from the necessary. Works out well!” Harry said, flipping his pencil between his hands. “He goes out, I stay in. He parties, I study. He fails and I pass. It’s been like this for a couple years now. Dunno why my parents would think any different.”

“I think they may have been countin’ on you, mate” Niall responded, throwing his text in his bag. When Harry gives him a blank look, Niall just explains further. “You know, since you live together, and you are practically in every class together, that you would help Louis with his studies.”

Harry snorted, loudly, “Ha, good one. Louis pretends I don’t exist and I’m okay with it. Like hell I’m helping him!”

Niall paused for a second, pondering the thought. “Haha! You like my best friend!”

Harry just dropped his head in his hands and sighed loudly. What a random bloke.

—x—

“Mate, you are going to fail if you don’t at least try to study,” Zayn said, sitting in Louis’ desk chair. It had been the first time they had entered Louis’ mysterious flat. Liam was sprawled out on the bed, flipping through one of his textbooks. He nodded absentmindedly, not really paying attention to the conversation.

“Says the lad who never studies for anything,” Louis complained, who was leaning against his room door. “I’m not cut out for uni.”

“I don’t study because I pay attention in class, at least. You on the other hand, you don’t do shit all everyday since I’ve met you. How are you going to stay on the football team with your poor grades?” Zayn asked. “You should really get a tutor…midterms are next week!”

“You sound so fucking sensible right now,” Louis muttered. “Can’t you just act like you don’t care and let me do what I want?”

“Mate, I’d like to consider you my friend and as your friend, failing is unacceptable. Ask Li,” he nodded towards his best friend. “He knows I’m actually super anal about school, even if I don’t appear like I am.”

“Mysterious and smart,” Louis mocked. “Just my type.”

“Hilarious, Lou. Maybe you could ask that curly-haired bloke, who is in a lot of your classes it se-“

“Fuck no.”

“Why not, Lou? I’m sure he’s a perfectly nice kid and on top of it, he’s attractive!” Liam piped in. Zayn just gave him a frustrated look. “What!”

“Don’t bribe him with the attractive bit, you dolt! We need him to be paying attention!” Zayn exasperated.

“I don’t want a tutor and especially not him!” Louis said, finally.

“And why not! What the fuck is wrong with him?” Zayn said, raising his voice a little bit.

Louis was about to answer when he heard the front entrance door being fumbled with. Which meant Harry was back from the library with Niall.

“Louis? I wanna order a pizz-” Harry stopped talking. He was trying to open his door, fuck. Louis shuffled to his feet, opening the door and slipping out before Zayn or Liam saw who it was.

“What the fuck are you doing home so early, you arsehole!” Louis whispered. “I’m here with Zayn and Liam trying to study!”

“Oh,” Harry answered, with a blank face. He looked behind Louis, to the closed door. “Well, its not like I haven’t seen them around and they are bound to find out, you know?”

“I don’t want to be associated with you! That’s why!” Louis complained. He pushed Harry towards his room. “You stay in your room, and stay there until the other two dolts, leave.”

“This is my place, too. You can’t tell me what to do, fuckface!” Harry shouted even louder.

Louis threw his hands up in protest. “Oh my god, Harry. You are being extremely immature rig-“

“At least I’m passing everything,” Harry retorted, smirk evident on his face. He watched as Louis’ face fell and he celebrated his victory silently in his head. So, it was a little mean, but Louis had no right to act the way he did. He did admit to himself though, and he doesn’t know why, that he acts completely different around Louis than anyone else he knew. “How mature is it, failing, hmm, Louis? Tell me that one.”

“That has nothing to do with the situation, asshat. Nothing! Why do even care?” Louis asked, face red from anger. Harry shrugged nonchalantly.

“I don’t, but at least I’m making people proud.”

“You are a little bitch.”

“Wait, you know him?” Liam said, incredulously. Louis whipped around, guilty look on his face. Harry just rolled his eyes.

“I’m his step brother, Harry,” he supplied, shrugging his shoulders again. “I don’t mean anything, apparently.”

“Well, this is sufficiently awkward,” Liam plays with the hair at the back of his neck. “Uh- nice to meet you. I’m-“

“Liam, and you’re,’ Harry pointed to the black-haired boy. “Zayn. I know who you are. I know who Louis’ friends are and that’s why I try to avoid him and you.”

Zayn dropped his jaw animatedly, “Excuse me?”

“Don’t want’ta be rude, but…Louis and I don’t get along and he sure as hell would not appreciate it if I had any sort of human contact with you. Nothing against you, I swear,” Harry replied meekly, suddenly becoming shy. He had such an outburst because of his anger towards Louis. “I…I’m going to go to my room.”

And then Harry bolted his door shut, sliding down it. “Fuck, I just made a right fool of myself.”


	4. Chapter 3

After he bolted himself in his room, Harry heard Liam and Zayn leave almost immediately after, after a few ‘see ya later, mate’ and ‘actually study, you dolt’. His cheeks were still red from embarrassment, he couldn’t believe how he acted. What a great first impression on Louis’ friends. Louis was sure to rip one into him the next morning, he was sure of it.

But really, he wasn’t. Because after he passed out, from the feeling of his crusted eyes and chapped lips caused him to realize he’s slept longer than an hour, Louis let himself into Harry’s room. He paced and paced in front of his step brother’s bed, unaware that Harry was awake and watching his every move. Harry was confused, what was he doing?

He pretended to shift and that caused Louis to stop mid-movement, looking towards the bed. Harry cautiously opened his eyes and mumbled, “What you doing, mmph.”

Louis sighed, putting his head in his hands and continued to walk back and forth. Harry sat up more, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “Alright, did you go to the nuthouse?”

“No-yes, no!” Louis said, thinking out loud. “I actually think I’m crazy for what I’m about to ask you, after what you just pulled in front of my mates. They think you’re the nutter.”

“What d’you want, Louis? I was sleeping if you didn’t notice,” Harry replied, somewhat annoyed he didn’t get a move on with what he was saying.

“I need help…” Louis trailed off. “With..studying.”

Harry just laughed, quite loudly too. He thought back to his conversation with Niall the previous afternoon, how his parents were counting on him to help their lost cause of a son, well, not his mother, but she loves Louis too. Louis looked bored while Harry slowly stopped laughing. “You’re serious?”

“Yes, I’m serious!” Louis shouted. “Zayn and Liam think I’m stupid! I’m not stupi-“

“You’re stupid for not paying attention in class,” Harry supplied.

“Okay, I get it. I should have paid attention, taken notes, whatever. Zayn has told me all this already. Can you just help me?”

He sounded exasperated. Harry inwardly cringed on how upset Louis sounded. “Okay, fine. I’ll help you.”

“Thank you. I’ll be back in the dorm by half past three, what about you?”

“Yeah, I should be ho-” Harry stopped. Wait, he agreed to meet Sean in the uni cafe for a cuppa and some studying. “Actually, I can’t tomorrow until after 8.”

Louis furrowed his brows in confusion for a second before wiping the look off of his face. “Alright…I guess I’m all by my lonesome until 8.”

“I’ll be home by fifteen after. What are we revising first?”

“I was thinking we could do the classes we have together, that way you are looking over the material as well?” Louis asked, his voice with a hint of hopefulness.

“Yeah,” Harry replied. As an afterthought, “Sorry for, you know…”

“Whatever, Harry,” Louis dismissed. And with what, he walked out of the room, without so much giving Harry a glance.

—xx—

Sean gave Harry a grin, who was playing with his bracelets (damn his nervous tendencies). Okay, so this was exactly a date but it sort of felt like it. They were alone, going out for a cup of tea and studying for a class which Niall was in, but no sight of him. Yeah, it definitely felt like a date. Harry gave him a neutral head nod before gesturing to the seat in front of him at the small cafe table.

“Saved you a spot,” Harry said quietly.

“Thanks mate. Let me go order, I’ll be right back,” Sean gave Harry another smile, it was so contagious because Harry’s face lit up quickly. As his friend walked away, mmph, he was fit. He couldn’t help but take a peek at his bum and he doesn’t remember how many times Niall caught him staring at Sean’s arms.

As Sean got his English Breakfast tea, (one milk, no sugar cause he’s already sweet enough, said with a wink) Harry dove right into revising the material for their exams. Sean kept up with his pace, along with a few laughs and pauses in between. Harry didn’t even notice the time, because they were soon finished their whole exam prep sheet.

“Can I walk you home, Harry?” Sean asked after he closed his textbook. This was it, exactly what Harry wanted for a month, this moment right here. Harry blushed and nodded shyly.

“I’d like that.”

They fell into an easy stride, Sean pointing out all the little things around the campus he never actually noticed before. Like, take for instance, the little alley way between the biology and chemistry buildings. It was the premium snogging spot, just like the back corner of a library, the section no one uses or cares to notice. Harry made a mental note of that, in case he ever find himself in a situation where he had someone to take there. The thrill of it all.

Harry’s dorm was only bout a ten minute walk from the cafe in which they met. Harry found himself wishing that he lived in the South buildings instead of the East Wing buildings, just so he could get an extra fifteen minutes of pure bliss with Sean. He smiled to himself, giddy inside with excitement. This was his first date in..well, a very long time and he wasn’t about to go and spoil it by pouting.

It wasn’t like either noticed that their hands brushed a few times more than necessary, walking entirely too close to be considered friends. Like Harry with Niall. Neither seemed to mind and so it was never brought up and neither of them moved further away. Harry guided Sean to his dorm room and stopping in front of the third last room in the hallway on the second floor. He stopped abruptly, turning his body fully towards Sean. He sighed, “Well, this is me.”

“Thanks for coming with me to revise, Niall wouldn’t be caught dead doing what we just did,” Sean laughed, Harry joining along. Sean shifted slightly closer. “So thank you.”

“The pleasure was all mine,” Harry said, voice lowering. He saw Sean moving closer into his personal space, not like he minded. His heart raced, he could feel his hands getting sweaty and oh, what was it like to be kissed, because Harry sure as hell forgot. This feeling, the pleasure, the intensity before being kissed. He missed it all.

Sean leaned up just a little bit more, slipping his lips over the curly-haired boy. Harry sucked in a breath, unsteadily, before returning the pressure with some unease. Sean moved his hands to Harry’s hips before breaking the kiss. Harry blushed, looking down at Sean, thinking about the kiss and the effect and oh my god, he’s flying in heaven with the angels.

“Do you want to come in for a bit?” Harry asked, whispering, looking up and down between eyes and lips. “Only if you want to, I mean, cause yeah…I don’t real-“

“I thought you’d never ask,” Sean replied, voice just as husky. Harry slipped from his grasp, grabbed his key from his back pocket and clumsily opened the door, grabbing Sean’s shirt, pulling him in roughly.

—xx—

Louis jerked awake, textbook on his chest. Clearly his studying habits were far from perfect and it just down right bored him to sleep. He tried to remember how long he was actually revising his material for…it couldn’t be long cause he was only on the first chapter of his book. He heard the main door of his and Harry’s dorm close loudly. Harry normally was quite quiet when he entered, so it was extremely weird.

Louis rubbed the sleep from his eyes, moving his textbook to his side, and gathered up his slim notes into a neat pile. Stretching, he led himself to his door, opening it wide.

He padded into the kitchen, walking past the couch in their small living room, which had Harry and another boy snogging. And wait, what the fuck?!

He did a double take. “Harry? What…”

Harry and the boy parted their lips and Harry gave Louis a look of pure surprise. He scrambled up into a seated position and smoothed out his clothes. Louis had to stifle a laugh. “I know what you were doing, no need to hide the fact, you dolt!”

Harry’s face flushed a deep crimson color. The other boy beside him, also straightening up, didn’t seem to be as affected as Harry was. “I-uh. I’ll be right back…uh, yeah.”

Harry stumbled on his words for the umpteenth time that night, walking briskly to the loo and locking himself inside. Louis turned his attention to the boy Harry was previously kiss sing. “I’ve seen you around before, yeah?”

“I’m Sean,” he offered. “Niall’s best friend.”

“Ah, I see. Don’t think Niall would like the current situation you have going on with my step brother though,” Louis pondered. Sean scoffed, immediately blowing off the thought.

“Don’t give a flying fuck what Niall thinks,” Sean replied. “Harry’s hot and what’s it to you anyways? I needed some ass, if you know what I mean.”

Louis’ skin crawled just a bit when he heard those words come out of Sean’s mouth. How did Harry even…like this guy? The door of the bathroom flew open, Harry looking much more presentable then before. “Sorry Sean.”

“It’s alright, babe,” Sean smiled sweetly. “I best be going, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Of course!” Harry grinned back in return. Louis nearly puked on the level of cute Harry was currently trying to withhold.

After Sean left, Harry turned to Louis. “Okay, so…revising?”

“Revising.”


	5. Chapter 4

Louis groaned into his textbook for what seemed like the twentieth time that night. He couldn’t concentrate. He was struggling with the fact that his midterm was literally half a day away and he only knew a quarter of the material that he needed to know. Harry sat across from him in their dimly lit dorm room. He looks over questionably towards his significantly smarter step-brother. He looked so calm, serene. Louis looked like a wreck, hair out of place, eyes drooping and he hadn’t even showered that day. To say he hit rock bottom was an understatement.

Louis pondered to himself though, giving his brain a little break. This was the first time, in two months, that both blokes had sat down in their shared room together. Normally, they were locked up in their rooms or out for the evening. His eyebrows scrunched in frustration. How come they couldn’t do this at home, with their mother and father? Act like normal siblings instead of being absolute enemies. In public, its as if they didn’t even know each other. It wasn’t as if he totally hated Harry. He just did things that annoyed him. How smart he was. How arrogant the son of a bitch could be.

How fucking calm this kid was at their current situation.

Harry felt a pair of eyes blazing through him. He glanced up and saw Louis’ defeated face. He shifted and thought for a moment. Was he suppose to say something nice? Relaxing maybe? He didn’t know. There was a sudden shift in their relationship, ever since Harry stood up for himself in front of his friends a couple days prior. Yeah, no one really knew they were some what related, but at least they didn’t purposely go out of their way anymore to throw digs and daggers at each other.

“Want a cuppa?” Harry said suddenly, quietly, breaking the silence in the room. He pushed himself off of his seat and walked towards the worn-down kettle by the stove. As he plugged it in, he heard Louis say a monotonous ‘yeah’.

Louis was still staring in the same direction that he was, except now he wasn’t staring at anything in particular. His mind was else-where. He didn’t break out of his trance until minutes later, when Harry put his tea in front of him. “Alright, want me to test you or something?”

And that’s when Louis let out his twenty-first groan of the night. “I don’t know enough to pass this fucking thing.”

“Stop being a proper twat and actually read the material. Maybe that would help,” Harry said, not-so gently. Louis gave him an aggravated look.

“Yeah, yeah. Okay, test me on the important stuff and then I’ll know what I have to focus on?” Louis asked, confused as he glanced over the prep paper Harry made for him. Harry sat back down, nodding his head.

They went back and forth asking and answering questions for about an hour, once Louis became more confident with what he was responding with and the slight encouraging words coming from Harry’s end.

“Oh,” Harry exclaimed abruptly, glancing at his cell in his lap. “Shit, i forgot Sean was going to come over for a bit.”

Louis clenched his teeth. “I thought you were going to help me. This exam is tomorrow. You can snog your boyfriend after that.”

Harry blushed profusely. “Uh-, he’s…not my boyfriend.”

“Alright, Hazza,” Louis grinned devilishly. “But in all seriousness, can you fucking reschedule?”

The knock on the door answered his question. Louis grunted in dissatisfaction. Harry squeaked, running to the bathroom. “Answer the door, answer the door!”

“Oh my God, you are such a girl,” Louis shook his head. He got up anyways, taking his sweet, old time getting to the door. When he opened the door, his eyes were met with Sean’s. He gave a slight nod, moving out of the way to let the other boy in.

“Hey, where’s Harry?” He asked immediately. Louis raised his eyebrows at the brusqueness.

“He’s in the bathroom, take a seat,” Louis said. Sean walked over, instantly dropping down to the couch in the living space. Louis returned to the small table, picking up his textbook. “So…are you ready for the anthro exam?”

Sean brushed it off as though it was nothing, “G’nna be easy, man. No qualms.”

“So, you are over here with your boyfriend because…?” Louis enquired, confounded once again. This was all too much for his brain to handle in one night.

“Fuck, he isn’t my boyfriend. You know how it is,” Sean said, frustrated. “Does “I need a shag” sound like boyfriend to everyone? Jesus fucking Christ.”

Louis frowned. That was…unexpected. And rude. And how the fuck is Harry attracted to this guy again? His mind wandered to the night be caught them sharing a kiss. Sean was acting all…oh. What a fucking prick. It made his skin crawl. What kind of person did this to someone as…innocent as Harry? A lot of people, he guessed. Even though he was always one for snogging or going a bit further, he never would purposely string them along. Fucking wrong. And he was sure Harry would agree once he heard about it.

Louis didn’t say anything, just grabbed his stuff just as Harry was entering the room. He saw the slight red tinge to his face, obviously unaware of what Sean had just said moments ago. They crossed each others path, Harry going towards Sean, Louis going towards his room. Just as Louis was about the close the door, he heard Harry say, “Good luck with your studying, Louis.”

He mumbled a quick thanks before closing the door for the night. He jumped on his bed, took one look at his textbooks and laughed.

“Fuck it.”

To say getting up from his slumber was hard was an understatement. But he did it anyways. He walked, half asleep to his exam, sat down in his desk, took out a pen, and wrote the test. And when he left that room, he didn’t feel like he was a complete failure.

When he made it back to dorm, he heard and saw Harry walking down the hallway with Niall and Sean. Louis acknowledged them before opening the door, leaving it ajar for the other three boys to make their way inside. Harry pulled out a bag of un-popped popcorn the second he entered the kitchen, throwing it into the microwave, while Louis pulled himself into the bathroom and decided it was time for a long, hot shower.

Before he turned on the water, he heard Niall say something about his body and Harry just shrieked, like he did before and told Niall to never repeat those words again.

—x—

Niall knew that Harry and Sean had taken a liking to each other. It was painfully obvious from the time they met and their continuous flirting seemed sickening to everyone else around them. But to Niall, it was just his best mate and his new buddy getting along quite well and so be it if something else comes of it. He was relaxed with the possibility.

Harry appreciated Niall in so many ways and the main reason was that he was so calm about everything and went with the flow. Especially when it came to Sean. If it was any other person in a similar situation, Harry was certain they would feel at least a little bit upset about it. Niall winked at him, leaving Sean and Harry alone. Well, not completely alone, ‘cause he was sure that Louis was asleep in his room.

“It was extremely easy, yeah?” Harry asked, as Sean shuffled closer on the couch. Harry grinned.

“You twat, no it wasn’t!” Sean said, in a mocking tone. Harry just gave him an apprehensive look, then both burst out laughing at the sheer fact that it was funny.

“Can I talk to you a moment, Sean?” Louis appeared suddenly, and Harry was utterly confused, didn’t want to move or speak because it was obvious that Louis did not seem happy. Many thoughts ran through his head and what the hell was going on. Sean gave Harry a quizzical look but stood up and followed Louis into his bedroom.

Harry heard muffled voices as soon as the door shut. He bound quickly to the door, putting his eye to it, wanting to hear as much as the conversation as possible, without being caught. He moved his feet to the side, aware that if they were in front of the door crack, Louis would automatically know Harry was standing there, in the threshold but kept his ear glued to the door.

“And I personally do not appreciate it.”

“You are far too serious, mate. It was a joke.”

“I’m the only one around here that gets to pull any of that shit on Harry because he’s my step-brother and that’s what I do.”

Harry pulled away, running back to the casual position on the couch and his mind raced with such a ferocity that he had to take several deep breaths to calm himself down significantly. He was bewildered beyond his ideas as to why Louis had to talk to Sean and what exactly they were talking about. Louis sounded defensive.

Since when was Louis defensive about his step-brother? That was Harry’s question. The door clicked open and Harry chewed his lip when Sean came out, his face painted neutral. He gave a small smile to Harry and gestured towards the main door. “I should really be going, I have another exam tomorrow and I really need an A on it.”

All Harry could do was frown. Minutes ago, they were joking around, having fun. Now, things felt too serious. “I-Uhm. Alright…”

“I’ll come by tomorrow,” Sean promised. And with that, he was out the door and it left Harry feeling rather odd about everything that had just gone down.


	6. Chapter 5

Harry paced back and forth in the small living room, repeatedly looking at Louis’ door. To say he was pissed off was an understatement. He was absolutely furious. He couldn’t handle his emotions right now. His face was still wet from tears just minutes prior, now drying to a glaze on his cheeks. Right now, he was ready to pounce on Louis and beat the living shit out of him (although he knew he really couldn’t actually do that).

He concentrated on the step in his feet and the constant click, click of his heels on the hardwood floor. Soon, he was in a steady rhythm walking back and forth across the entire room. All he could think is fuck Louis and I’m going to kill him over and over again for fucking up the only time he could spend with Sean for a bit. Their exam schedules didn’t run well together and fuck Louis. 

“What in God’s name are you doing?”

Harry snapped out of his stupor to have his eyes meet those of the boy he had been cursing at for the past twenty minutes. He clenched his teeth together in fury, but kept his feet planted and didn’t move. “You.”

“Me?” Louis questioned, confused look on his face. That just made Harry even more angry. “Your face is turning a bit red.”

“Yes, you. You fucked everything up. What did you say to Sean that made him run away?” Harry asked, seething. Even though he knew what the majority of the conversation was, he wanted to hear it word for word from his step-brother’s mouth to make sure he didn’t dream it or something.

“I was making it clear that I was to be the only one making jokes about you, is all,” Louis answered casually, strolling to the fridge. He grabbed an apple from the fruits compartment. “You know it’s like my job or something.”

So Harry did hear it right. But Louis was taking this far too nonchalant for his liking. Here he was fuming and Louis could see it and he takes it casually. He sat down, turning his body to face Louis. “You really had to talk to him about that? You…you’re a fucking twat, that’s what you are!”

“And to think, we were finally getting along,” Louis mused, entertained by Harry’s angry outburst. Louis had been used to this sort of thing at home. Harry was an open book in private. But whenever he was in the public eye, scrutinized, he closed right up, shy as could be and didn’t bat an eye towards anybody who could be a stranger. Which is why Louis found it so strange Harry found friends in Niall and Sean so quickly. If this had been anywhere anybody else could see, Harry wouldn’t say two words to Louis about what was bothering him.

“As much as I love getting along with you,” Harry responded sarcastically, “I really don’t fucking get why you would ever speak to Sean that way about me. Do I ever talk like that around Zayn and Liam? I didn’t think so.”

“I don’t like him” Louis said simply, scrunching his nose. Harry’s mouth dropped animatedly.

“You’ve got to be kidding me, Louis,” Harry countered. 

“He’s a bad egg, Harry. I tell you. He’s not good for you.”

“You know what? I don’t really give two shits what you think, Louis. It’s my life, okay? Not yours so don’t think you can go controlling me just because you think you’re the boss of everything around you. ‘Cause you are not. I’m doing what I want to do for once. I’m letting myself make friends and if I want to kiss someone or date someone, I sure as hell won’t come to you for your fucking approval,” Harry ranted, pounding his fist on the table beside him. Louis gave him a blank look in return, mid-chew. 

“Whatever Harry. If you want to go down that road and hurt yourself, you go ahead and do that. Don’t say I didn’t warn you though and I will definitely take the pleasure in saying I told you so,” Louis replied with a obvious snarky tone, swallowing the bite of his apple. “I’m going to leave now. Don’t expect me back for a while.”

“Good, I’m glad you got the point to fuck off, you arsehole,” Harry bellowed, as loud as he could, he was sure the people on either side of the room could hear him. Louis rolled his eyes, making the point by slamming the door of their dorm as he left. Harry sighed, getting up and running a hand through his long, curly hair.

It took him only a couple strides to lock himself in his room and crash on his bed.

—xx—

Louis strolled aimlessly through the University park on the outskirts of the campus. He tried his best to remain calm and cool and it was just really hard for him to stay composed after his fight with Harry. Harry couldn’t see what Louis saw and it was bugging him so much that his own step-brother would not believe a word he had said. 

He kept his head down, his shoulders slumped, kicking a rock across the path, passing a few stray students along the way. He felt a hand on his shoulder and he jumped slightly at the contact but he relaxed instantly seeing as it was only Zayn. He gave a small smile to his friend. “Hey.”

Zayn fell in step with Louis as they continued to circle the grounds. “What’s eating you, man?”

Louis furrowed his brows. He looked up to the beautiful trees, changing colour in the fall season, deep reds, oranges and yellow invading his eyesight. It reminded him of the simple times where he was just in high school, where he could play footy and hang out with his friends. Now he was in university and damn, how did they change so quickly? He sighed inaudibly. “Just worried about my next exam, is all. Yeah.”

“I doubt that, mate,” Zayn reacted, chuckling to himself. Louis shrugged his shoulders, his lie caught awfully quickly. He wasn‘t too concerned with hiding that fact. “What’s going on?”

“I’m just…living with Harry is really getting to me,” Louis said vaguely. Zayn raised his eyebrow. “I mean, yeah, I’ve lived with him for a while before, but my parents were there and our paths only crossed at home. Now, it’s like I see him everywhere and we were actually civil for a bit, but now…”

“S’a bit mad, you know?” Zayn asked. “I mean, at first, you wouldn’t even let me know who he was or that he lived in the same flat as you.”

“I know and then there was a shift in our…relationship, I guess if you call it that, and we could stand in the same room without wanting to rip each other’s face off. Now tonight, I voice my opinion once and Harry doesn’t agree with it and suddenly he’s calling me a twat and an arsehole,” Louis said, exasperated. Zayn shook his head.

“What were you guys arguing about?”

“Well Harry is seeing this guy and he’s a right douche bag, you know? I mean, I don’t really know him but the way he talks when Harry isn’t around is disgusting and-”

“Didn’t know Harry was gay…” Zayn cut off his friend.

“Yeah, well, not many people know. I mean- but anyways,” Louis finished. He fumbled with his words. “I don’t know what I’m trying to say. I just…this guy said he needed some ass. That‘s it. No relationship. Just some ass and Harry‘s sensitive.”

“Ha- well. That sounds like he’s a class-A asshole,” Zayn nodded. He turned somewhat to face Louis, but they remained walking at a slow pace. “You know what I think about this?”

“What?”

“I think over the past couple years of knowing your step-brother, you actually overstepped the boundary of hating each other. I think you actually ca-”

“Don’t say it. It’s not fucking true,” Louis stopped, pointing his finger right in his friend’s face. He growled, trying to gain some fear, but Zayn just giggled.

“You care, Louis,” Zayn mocked, grinning widely. “Louis Tomlinson cares about his step-brother, Harry.”

“No, I really don’t,” Louis said, shaking his head. Zayn just gave him a knowing look and Louis heaved a sigh. “Does it really look like I do?”

“Yeah, mate,” Zayn clapped his back. They stood in front of Louis’ building. Louis wondered how it was possible but he didn’t question it aloud. “Looks like we made it back. I’ve got to study but I’ll see you tomorrow at footy practice, right?”

Louis nodded in agreement and he watched Zayn walk away before he made he way back to his dorm. Okay, so he wasn’t gone a very long time like he planned but it’s not like Harry was going to say anything because Harry was pissed off and was going to make an obvious point to purposely avoid Louis.

But Louis had his mind set on apologizing…for once in his life. Even he was a little startled at the thought, but if Harry wanted to fuck up, who was Louis to care? Apparently he did though and that scared him even more. As he opened up the door, he tossed his keys on the kitchen counter and his eyes locked on Harry’s closed bedroom door.

Louis knocked and knocked, but he didn’t get a response and he was slowly getting more upset by the minute. He huffed, and just opened Harry’s door without so much as another thought and he immediately was no longer mad at his step brother because he was passed out on the bed, his face glazy with dried tears, almost fresh. He sighed, and just before he closed his own door for the night, he left a note out for Harry.

I’m sorry.


	7. Chapter 6

Harry was pissed. For a lot of reasons, really. First, Sean hasn’t spoken to him in a week. A whole week. All because of something Louis said to him and why exactly did Louis not like Sean? He had no reason to and it screwed everything up for him. For once Harry had something to look forward to and Louis just had to go and mess it up. Typical. 

Harry couldn’t believe Louis even had the nerve to apologize. There was no way in hell he was going to accept it, that was for damn sure. He did a great job at avoiding Louis. He’d wake up early and make his way to the library after his shower and breakfast, all before Louis even thought about opening his eyes.

Thank god for Niall though, or Harry would have probably gone insane. Niall didn’t know exactly what was going on, but he didn’t ask questions and kept Harry company, even though Harry was beyond grumpy and not a good conversationalist. Harry silently noted that he had to take Niall to the campus’ all-you-can-eat buffet for being there for him.

It was a Friday and Harry was nose-deep in his psychology book. Or was it his anthropology book? He didn’t know, he was just reading to get his mind off Sean. He knew what Louis had said, overhearing everything, but-

“Hi Harry.”

Harry glanced up. A blush arose on his neck quickly and he shuffled in his seat. “Hey Sean.”

“Your exams go well?” Sean asked casually, sitting in the seat in front of Harry. He gave him a small smile.

“Yeah, I passed them. Good grades, I suppose. Where have you been?” 

It slipped out of Harry’s mouth before he could stop it himself. He wanted to groan aloud, but he knew that would just give his anxiousness away and he didn’t need this being more awkward than it already was. He ran a hand through his curly locks and gave Sean a shy look.

“Been busy, sorry. I was trying to find you actually. Wanted to know if you wanted to catch a movie at the cinema tonight? My treat!” Sean asked, curling his lips into a smirk, knowing exactly what Harry was going to say but Harry didn’t want to make it obvious. But Harry was an obvious person and an obvious person makes things very, very predictable.

“Uhm…I…yeah. I’m not doing anything tonight.”

“Great, want to meet in front of the main campus entrance about half past six?” Sean got up as he was saying it. Harry nodded hastily, his eagerness evident with every movement. 

“Alright, see you then Harry!” And with that, Sean was up and off, leaving Harry to his own devices again. Needless to say, Harry couldn’t concentrate much after their one minute conversation. Apparently that was all it took before Harry was smitten.

After a couple of pointless hours staring into space, his textbook and the other people in the quiet library, Harry finally left. He took the long, scenic route, checking the time, making sure he wouldn’t run into his ass of a step-brother. He memorized the timetable for the sole purpose. He’s done well so far.

But evidently God didn’t like him today, because as he stepped out of the dorm elevator, Louis was just stepping out of their shared flat. Harry kept a blank face, not wanting the evitable conversation looming in his wake.

“Harry.”

“Bye Louis,” Harry said weakly, trying to pass him. Louis held his arm out.

“Anne called. She wanted to know how things were going because apparently you were quite mute with her the other day. She thinks something is wron-”

“Hmm, I really wonder why I was so fucking upset, Louis,” Harry rolled his eyes, pushing Louis’ arm down. “Now, I’d like to get ready for my date now.”

“Date? With who?” Louis wondered, nosily.

“Sean, now go to class, aren’t you already late?” Harry got his key out of his pocket, unlocking the door as Louis mouth dropped in shock. Harry gave him one last look.

“Okay Harry. I tried to help you before you dug yourself into a big, deep hole with that guy. He’s no good, I swear. You don’t see it, because he’s a very good actor. But when you aren’t around, he’s the biggest asshole I’ve ever met and he only wants sex, okay? There, I said it. He only wants sex. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, Haz,” Louis said, most as a last plea to get Harry to listen to him. But Harry seemed to have an attitude problem this morning, rolling his eyes and shutting the door without so much as another word.

—xx—

He tugged at the bottom of his jumper multiple times, flitting with nerves and butterflies. He stood outside the small cinema, looking around for Sean. It was 25 minutes after six, which meant Harry was early, sue him. He tried tapping his foot to calm himself down, he bet he looked absolutely mental. 

So, this was technically the third date he was on with Sean. This was obviously a huge deal and all he wanted to do was impress Sean with everything he had. He thought that it might make him a tad creepy, thinking this way, but he shrugged it off, allowing himself to relish the moment in peace…in his mind. Hands wound his head, breath close to his ear.

“Guess who, babes,” the male whispered. Harry couldn’t help but break out into a huge grin and turning around violently, giving Sean a hug. Harry heard a loud “oof” but that didn’t stop him.

“Looks like you’re early, mate,” the Irish boy said, with a small smile. Harry just nodded. “Alright, do you want to see an action, a thriller or a romantic movie?”

Harry contemplated for a moment. He loved action movies, but that wasn’t really date-movie material. He knew Sean well enough that a romantic comedy was out of the question. That left a thriller and…he guessed that was alright. He wasn’t exactly the most strong person when it came to scary things.

“A thriller,” Harry said, determinedly. Sean grinned widely, happy with the response.

Sean stepped a bit closer, whispering into Harry’s ear again. “Just so you know, I don’t plan on actually watching the movie.”

Harry blushed a deep red, knowing exactly what Sean was implying. He followed him to the ticket booth, letting Sean pay for him. God, he sounded like such a girl. Blushing, touching, but Sean didn’t seem to mind really, Harry deduced, because that made him feel like an alpha male.

As soon as they made their way into the dimly lit theatre, Sean took Harry’s wrist, pulling him towards the very back. The place was deserted. There was a couple jock-looking boys, sitting in the middle, Harry thought he recognized one from his economics class, but he couldn’t match a face to a name. But other than that, there was no one else. Sean sat them down right below the film player. This area was basically known as the theatre’s makeout ‘corner’, or it was inferred that it was, with many rumours around campus saying so. Harry had never been here before, it excited him to finally be in this situation. He wondered if Louis had been here yet.

He shook that thought immediately.

It didn’t take long for the movie start and with that, it didn’t take long for Sean to place his hand on Harry’s lower thigh, right above his knee. Harry cleared his throat, pretending to be paying attention to the movie, but really, all he could do with feel the warmth of the hand on his leg, and it made his heart beat quicken and he really just wanted Sean to make a move fast. Did he want to make him suffer?

Every few minutes, the hand would slide up a couple more centimetres. But once it reached the base of his semi-hard cock, Harry couldn’t help but moan. That suddenly flipped Sean, sending him legs sprawling, straddling Harry so fast, it wasn’t even funny. Harry didn’t even have time to think before Sean was placing wet, open-mouthed kisses all over his face, his neck, his slightly exposed collarbones. Harry went pliant, letting Sean do absolutely all the work. 

Sean rocked his hips, making sure his bum was rubbing over Harry’s hard-on, getting Harry so frustrated to let off the steam and he was actually really considering this. Harry licked his lip, “please, just…do something.”

Sean growled lowly in his throat, lifting Harry’s hips by one arm, unbuttoning his zipper with his other hand. Soon, Harry was naked from the waist down and Sean wasted no time getting a hand on the exposed dick. 

Harry was never touched so intimately before this moment and he would be so embarrassed if he came early, but it was almost inevitable and fuck, that’s not what he wanted. He bit his lip, trying to keep quiet, but Sean was pumping him hard and fast. A warning was not in order, he just came surprisingly and Sean ripped his hand off quickly. He bent down to whisper in Harry’s ear though. “I’m going to move back over to my seat and you’re going to return the favour, because you coming while I’m in your lap turned me on so, so much, Harry.”

It was true, Harry took one look at Sean’s erection after he undid his trousers and it was like a small victory, turning someone on. Because this would be another first. A night of firsts. Another first. Touching another boy. Touching a person other than himself, really. “Are you going to stare or touch me, babe?”

Sean said it was such haze and lust in his voice, Harry took a deep breath and wrapped his fingers carefully around the base of the standing cock. He did exactly what he would do to himself. Flick the top of his finger on the slit of his head, rubbing the precome down the shaft, pump slowly and then quickly, switching speeds at an uneven rhythm, trying to drive the other boy crazy. Sean looked down lazily, lids half closed, and a lax smile dawned on his face.

When Sean came, he readjusted himself in his trousers, and turned his attention to the movie. Harry furrowed his brows in confusion, but nonetheless returned to his seat, eyeing the exit, a happy medium between the screen and Sean himself.


	8. Chapter 7

Harry tried to look at the next few weeks with great positivity. His university experience just got ten times better and ultimately so far the best year of his life. At least that’s what he’d like to think.

For the first time, he feels in a stable place. A good school, excellent grades, and dare he say it, an awesome boyfriend to boot. Everything was going right for Harry. Everything except for the front with Louis. So, he was still ignoring him, but he was saying awfully rude things and it was justified and it’s not like Louis was going out of his way to talk to Harry anyways, so the curly-haired boy did not care.

He kept staring at himself in the mirror, shaking out his hair, smoothing out his jeans. After fiddling with his shirt for about the fiftieth time that night, Harry sighed. Slightly flustered, the boy didn’t exactly know how to dress for such a place. 

A bar. Harry has been legal for months now yet he never took full advantage of the getting proper drunk outside of his home. Or drunk at all. Harry thought eighteen wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, but it seemed to be working for him.

He shook his head, this was clearly the best it was going to get and he was already late meeting Niall and Sean at the campus bar. He was slightly nervous. Their roots are Irish, both of them. Harry was just born in the small town of Holmes Chapel and it wasn’t exactly the most happening place. Unlike Ireland, where apparently anywhere you went as a party.

At least according to Niall.

By the time Harry walked down to the other side of campus from his dorm, he was exactly 23 minutes late. Sean gave him a once-over. Niall just grinned. “Took you long enough mate, what happened?”

“I-I just took a longer shower than I expected is all, sorry. I see you got started without me?” Harry said weakly, gesturing over to the half-full pints of what Harry was assuming beer. 

“Oh yeah, mate,” Niall said. He flagged down the bartender for Harry. “Give us something strong, it’s our mate’s first time out and we don’t want him to remember the night!”

Harry’s eyes widened to the size of saucers. His heartbeat picked up a bit, he wanted to remember everything. That wasn’t what drinking was about to Harry, it was suppose to be social. But he was hanging around a bunch of Irish teenagers. He gulped, hopefully unnoticed by anyone around after the large glass was placed in front. He threw down some cash as the bartender walked away to serve another slightly drunk pair across the way.

“It’s good, babe. Don’t worry. If you get as drunk as Niall says he going to get you, your hangover won’t be that bad…well. Let’s just hope you aren’t a lightweight,” Sean winked.

Harry gave him a small smile, before kissing his cheek, slightly embarrassed that he was caught. “Right, I-uh. I guess it’ll be okay?”

He said it as more of a question but the other two didn’t notice. Niall had guzzled down his beer, the last of it, while Harry tentatively began to sip his.

He did, in fact, learn something tonight. Harry was indeed a lightweight. He was sort of expecting it, his body was not used to the alcohol and he was drinking a lot more than he normally would if he was around his family so he put it off. After a beer and a half, his body was swaying slightly to the right, his words were just ever-so-faintly beginning to blend together and tail off. His movements, mostly with Sean, kissing him, holding his hand, all that cute PDA moments, were starting to become more and more weak with each passing second.

The rational idea was for Harry to stop drinking after he finished his second beer.

Niall wouldn’t let him.

He ordered Harry another drink, this time a shot of what Harry thought was pure vodka. He remembered when he was sixteen and his sister Gemma made him a drink for Christmas and it was suppose to only have a shot of vodka with more punch than anything, but being Gemma’s first time making a drink, it was more vodka than anything else.

Needless to say, Harry did not have a good experience with vodka and just the thought made his insides squirm with a distaste. That didn’t stop him from knocking it back though, plugging his nose swallowing it in one go, and finally grabbing Sean’s beer to chase the simply awful taste in his mouth.

“You go, mate!” Niall said for what seemed like the tenth time already. “Wow, we should take you out all the time!”

“Too bad Harry is too done now,” Sean pointed out, holding onto Harry’s falling figure. “What did I say, he is super dazed right now. Niall, buddy, we should probably take him back.”

Niall frowned, but looked at his friend. Harry’s eyes were half-lidded and his mouth sluggishly ajar, leaning almost all his weight on Sean. He nodded, taking out his wallet and putting some extra change on the bar for the tender. “Okay Harry, let’s get you home.”

“No-no, I can do it mate. When I said we, I meant me. You can stay here, I see there’s a nice bloke in the corner that’s been eyeing you all night, maybe you should make a move or summat?” Sean waved his hand. “I’ve got Harry, he’s fine.”

After Niall left, Harry felt the pat on his shoulder and soon, he was being lifted by his arms to his feet. He turned, grinning towards Sean. “Thanks for taking me home, I know I’m ruining your night.”

“You definitely are not ruining my night, babe,” Sean smoothed out his hair. “Let’s go, yeah?”

The walk back to Harry’s dorm was nice and slow. Harry felt like he was going faster than he usually did, but it wasn’t the case because every few seconds, he felt like either he was going to fall down or vomit all over the sidewalk. He wasn’t sure what would feel worse at a time such as this.

Sean held onto him steady by the waist, even though he was drunk too. He could handle his liquor though, and that was the difference. 

Harry let Sean reach into his back pocket to grab his keys. Sean struggled for a moment, holding onto the boy and slipping his hand into the tight jeans to grab the small key. He grabbed it with a small ounce of eagerness. As Sean tried his best to shove the key into the keyhole of the doorknob, Harry watched on. He giggled loudly, trying to watch Sean miserably fail at opening the door to his room.

They fell into together, bumping into the doorframe, the kitchen table, the sofa and last but not least, Harry’s closed door.

“Oof-” Harry shrieked as his back hit the wall hard. Sean shook his head, as the brunt of the blow was on Harry anyways. 

As Harry fell backwards on the bed, Sean followed him. Harry surged up to capture his boyfriend’s lips with his own. Sean growled lowly, startled at the ease Harry had, as he positioned himself better between Harry’s slowly spreading legs. Harry rutted his growing bulge on Sean’s leg, craving the attention and touch as they began to kiss roughly.

Sean brought his hands up, unbuttoning Harry’s shirt with no trouble, running the pads of his fingertips down the curly-haired boy’s shivering chest. Harry writhed under the small touches, his constant craving and alcohol high in his system. He laid his head back, letting Sean take over with his mouth after they disconnected. 

Harry thoughts wandered as he felt Sean fall lower and lower on his body, stripping both of them off at the same time. With no time at all, Sean had both of them stark naked, rutting against each other’s bare skin with pursed lips and trailing fingers. 

Suddenly Harry didn’t feel so well.

He wasn’t sure if it was because of the alcohol, or the fact that this would be the farthest he’s ever gone with anyone, the nerves or a mixture of both really, but his hands tried to push Sean off his chest, but he wasn’t exactly the strongest boy in England and Sean was much larger than him in terms of muscle mass. 

“Sean, get-” Harry struggled, grunting. “Off”

He immediately felt more sober, but Sean wasn’t moving, wasn’t stopping his motions and his actions got more needy by the second, obviously trying to distract Harry to the best of his ability but Harry’s speeding heartbeat and constant low voice, extenuating “no”s. 

“Sean-”

“Harry,” Sean growled into his ear, nipping it pointedly. 

“Get off, please,” Harry said, pleadingly. 

“You want this, Harry. You started it, you tease,” Sean trailed his mouth down Harry’s neck again, biting hard. Harry screamed, loudly.

“Fuck, Sean. Get off, no. I don’t want this, get off please. Please,” Harry’s in tears, his unvarying requests and unexpectedly Harry felt a definite feeling of fear and panic. He could feel Sean’s evident erection pressing into his thigh, but there was no longer any friction between Harry’s. His already quickened breaths of air, turned to hyperventilation and the only thing he could do and say over and over again, was say no. Scream no. Cry no. Anything. Just no.

Sean wasn’t giving in.

Harry struggled more now, groaning and screeching with every pressure point being pressed, the strong grip on his wrist and his waist. He couldn’t help himself when he closed his eyes in fear.

They were jerked open when suddenly all the pressure was gone.

And Sean was on the floor.

And Louis was standing above him.

Harry rubbed his eyes immediately, trying to rid himself of the dry tears. His nakedness was the least of his concerns. But he still felt overexposed and shaken up, he scrambled to the clothes on the floor. Louis looked at him quick before he pressed the heel of his foot to Sean’s neck just as he was about to get up. “Don’t you dare.”

“Get off me, you asshole,” Sean said, though raspy. 

“What the fuck were you just doing? I come back and all I hear is ‘no’ and screaming. And I open the door and you…I fucking hate your guts, you sick fuck. I knew there was something wrong with you. I’m calling the cops and you can say goodbye to an education and a life, because you sure as hell are not getting out of this one. How the fuck could you even do this?” Louis pressed his heel even harder onto Sean’s throat. He was seething and Harry just watched with scared eyes, fumbling with his clothes and trying to find his cell phone. 

His rational mind thought that it would be smart for Louis to handle this all but Harry was independent and he really did not need Louis in all of this, no he didn’t. He shoved his legs through his jeans as he dialled 911, still watching Louis nearly crush Sean with his foot. Sean wasn’t resisting, clearly the alcohol was giving him major issues on that front. Didn’t even mutter one word, he just took it like he knew he was defeated.

With a shaky voice, he rambled off little details to the dispatch on the other end. Louis didn’t move until the cops came to the door, didn’t move his foot until he was forced to do so. And before Sean was taken in cuffs, Louis gave him one last menacing look before he bolted to Harry, taking him in his arms, leaning his chin on Harry’s curly mop, running his fingers through it, hugging him with such a strong grip. Harry let him. Louis didn’t even notice his own tears falling from his eyes and neither did Harry.


	9. Chapter 8

The police arrived and took Sean away with no time at all. Louis was still curled up into Harry as the tears flowed down his cheeks. He remained unmoved, no reaction to whatever was going on around him. Louis was upset, don’t get him wrong. He was absolutely wrecked, a mess. But he knew that, even though it only happened moments ago, Harry would probably never be the same for the rest of his life. When Louis was pulled off, asked to talk to one of the police officers, Harry didn’t move. When Louis came back, his dried, cracked face, evidence of previous tears, Harry didn’t want to move. 

 

Louis coaxed him up though. He made him a cuppa, as Harry stared into a distant space. The police officer sat into of him, the chair pulled out of the kitchen table. He had a small clipboard and was looking too official for Harry, he didn’t want to open up his mouth. The same man carefully walked up to Louis.

 

“Our staff believe taking him down to the station would do him some good,” he said in a hushed tone. Louis paused for a moment.

 

“You don’t really know Harry though. I mean, for what just happened…uh, he’s holding himself up really well. He’s a really shy and quiet guy as it is and yeah,” Louis mumbled. He was suddenly really nervous about all of this and he took a quick peak at Harry and what he said was true. He’s seen Harry cry plenty of times about petty little things. But this was a huge thing and…was this to be expected? He sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

 

“Could you maybe come back at another time?” Louis questioned, whispering and pleading. 

 

The police officer took a look between Louis and Harry before nodding his head, shutting his notebook on his clipboard and signalling to his partner that their work was done for the night. At least at Manchester University. He gave a small nod to the young Doncaster lad, letting himself out. Louis immediately sat in front of Harry.

 

Harry shook out of his trance, looking at Louis. Louis gave him a small smile and a pat on the leg. “Let’s get you into bed, alright? We can talk in the morning, we don’t need to at the mo’”

 

Louis shifted, picking him up bridal style, before lifting himself off his own chair. 

 

And when he put Harry into his bed, Harry still had no words to say, so he left the room, keeping the door open, before retreating to his room for the night. Even after hours of thoughts running through his head, how was he suppose to sleep knowing that if he didn’t come in at that time, what would have happened?

 

The phone call to Anne, which Harry inevitably would not make, was going to be interesting. And by interesting, that meant he was absolutely terrified of telling her that her son was nearly taken advantage of and he didn’t know how he was going to help him.

 

—x—

 

He’s had the number dialled for a good five minutes, but pressing that call button was probably the hardest thing he’s had to do here ever. Hardest than any test or exam he’s taken and definitely harder than walking home from the campus bar completely smashed off his own end. Somehow he survived both. He wasn’t sure how he’s handle the last of this though.

 

He pressed the green button, holding it up to his ear. Louis held his breath and even when Anne answered the phone, he couldn’t help not saying anything.

 

“Hello? Louis, is that you?” Anne called from the other line.

 

“Uh-” Louis stumbled. “Yeah, it’s Louis.”

 

“What’s wrong, sweetie?”

 

“Uh, fuck, what am I suppose to say,” Louis mumbled, searching across the room, stalling a bit more. His sleep pattern last night, or the lack thereof, was seriously screwing with his emotions today. 

 

“What was that, Lou? Do you want to talk to your dad? Here’s around here somewhere…” Anne was shuffling around, moving from a couch or a sitting position.

 

“No, no! I need to talk to you, but this…this is so hard so I might just be really blunt about it and blurt it out before I regret calling you and even saying anything.”

 

Louis heard Anne sit back down, a struggling huff coming from her mouth. “Well, what is it? I’m not going to like this, am I?”

 

“Harry was dating this guy named Sean for a couple months, basically since the beginning of the term and he was acting all nice and sweet but I didn’t like him because he looked and sounded fishy and oh god, he really was a bad guy and I didn’t do anything. Fuck, I didn’t help Harry when I should have and now I’ve done and messed absolutely everything up for him and he won’t move or leave his room or talk to me and fuck, fuck fuck,” Louis rambled on, the sobs coming on strong the more he continued to talk. 

 

“What did you do, Louis?” Anne sounded more angry than anything. Louis guessed it was from the sounding of his words. He truly did blame himself.

 

“I didn’t do anything. Well, I did. I warned him, I really did, Anne. I told him Sean was bad news and he didn’t listen to me, he’s so naïve. I honestly don’t know why I didn’t try harder, this is all my fault, oh my god,” Louis resisted his breathing to quicken, but it was hard being so worked up and guilty. 

 

“Louis, you need to tell me what’s going on, I’m beginning to lose what you are saying, dear,” Anne seemed to remain calm, but Louis has known Anne for a while now, a couple years, and he just knows in his gut that she’s starting to connect the dots.

 

“Harry’s having nightmares, oh god, and I can’t do anything about it. He didn’t sleep or when he did, he’d wake up with screaming or loud panicky- oh my god, Anne, I’m so sorry. I’ve failed to take care of him,” Louis continued to spew. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

 

“Louis, you need to calm down and tell me exactly what is going on before I get into my car and drive down there myself and beat it out of you,” Anne said steadily.

 

Louis paused. He sniffled, eyes wide. “If I didn’t get home at the time I did, Harry….he would have been raped, Anne.”

 

This time, Anne paused with a sharp intake of breath. Louis didn’t know what to say and he already said the hardest thing possible. “…Anne?”

 

“Yes Louis, I’m still here. Oh god, Louis. When did this happen?” 

 

“Yesterday night. The police were here and I ripped Sean off him, Anne and I stepped on his neck,” Louis explained. “I think I could have hurt him. Really bad. I wanted to.”

 

“I…I need you to make sure he’s okay until the end of this term. Then we’ll be in talks of pulling him out for the rest of the year,” Anne stated rationally. She sighed, before Louis knew she was crying. “My poor baby.”

 

—x—

 

Louis never told Harry that he spoke to Anne. He knew that Harry would be absolutely angry with him if he even told his mother, so not mentioning it was in his best interest. Louis came and left the dorm, to go to class for the first few days after the incident. He knew Harry was going to class too, but he wasn’t the same. The class that they shared, he didn’t sit near Niall but instead opted the back corner. It looked like he wasn’t even paying attention and no one knew what was going on in his life except Louis.

 

He tried to ignore Harry’s constant whines and cries from the other room at night. The first night, before he called Anne, it was hard to even listen and it was safe to assume he didn’t sleep either. Louis didn’t know how much longer he could really take it.

 

The second, third and fourth nights weren’t much better. Louis tried to get Harry to interact with him, but Harry said no words, silently locking himself in his room. 

 

On the fifth night of cat naps between class, but no sleep during the evening, Louis knew he had to do something to break Harry out of his depressive streak. But he wasn’t exactly sure how to do that.

 

When Zayn said all those weeks ago that he cared about Harry, he denied it all. Denial was apparently a step to some deeper meaning into a world of emotions of caring? He wasn’t exactly sure. But he knew now that he wouldn’t be feeling like this, guilty and in need to do something, if he didn’t care about the younger, curly-haired boy.

 

He tip-toed across the way of the kitchen and stopped into of Harry’s door at promptly 11:00, the green-neon glaring in the room from the microwave in the corner. He lifted his hand to knock, but then he hesitated. What if Harry was asleep? He shouldn’t interrupt the little sleep he obviously got. Louis didn’t hear any noise from the room for at least an hour now. 

 

He sighed, choosing instead to carefully swing the door open, wincing at the noise it was making as it went ajar. Louis saw Harry shuffle in the bed slightly. Okay, so he was awake. I guess that could also be a reason why he wasn’t making any noise, Louis thought.

 

“Harry?” He whispered. Turning in his bed, Harry’s eyes glistened in the darkness. Louis moved closer, hesitantly at first, before reaching the side of the bed and kneeling down to eyelevel. “Harry, please talk to me?”

 

Harry opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out.

 

“If you aren’t going to say anything, I’m going to….tickle it out of you,” Louis smirked, before jerking his hands towards Harry’s midriff, wiggling them to coax a reaction. Harry began to giggle a little bit and Louis took that as a small victory. He climbed into bed, rolling over Harry’s limp body, propping himself on his elbows and giving his stepbrother a grin. “I think I deserve some words from your mouth now, Harry.”

 

“That’s an awfully weird way of saying you want me to talk,” Harry said pointedly, quietly. Louis shook his head and rolled his eyes.

 

“I hear you at night, Harry. I…I just want to know you’ll be alright. Will you be alright?” Louis asked meekly.

 

“I…I’m not that sure. I mean, uh, yeah,” Harry moved his head and looked up at the ceiling. “It’s difficult, I guess.”

 

Louis sighed. He moved and put his head on Harry’s chest. He felt Harry noticeably stiffen. Louis yanked his body away. “Oops, I’m sorry.”

 

“No, no. Uh, you can. I just…wasn’t expecting it.”

 

Louis moved slowly, returning to the position. Harry was much more relaxed and he oved his arm from his side so Louis could come a bit closer. 

 

“I know we haven’t exactly been the nicest to-”

 

“Louis, shut up.”

 

Louis paused, narrowing his eyes but didn’t move. Harry exhaled noisily, almost content. “’m tired.”

 

“I’ll leave now,” Louis offered.

 

“No, I’m comfy. Please don’t, maybe I’ll sleep a bit better with someone around,” Harry thought aloud. Louis threw his arm across Harry’s waist, snuggling in a bit further. He wasn’t exactly planning on this but he wasn’t going to go and tell Harry no, especially at a time like this.

 

It might be the first time Harry doesn’t wake up crying in the morning.


	10. Chapter 9

Louis wakes up the next morning completely alone in a foreign bed and for a minute, he was confused as to where he even was. The events from the previous night came flooding back. His short conversation with Harry, his willingness to let Louis rest his head on his chest, and finally, actually sleeping. 

From what he could tell, it was approximately mid-morning. He slept through the entire night, not once hearing a peep from his step-brother. So that either meant Harry also slept through or he didn’t sleep at all. Louis hoped it was the former. He groaned and stretched as he got out of Harry’s bed, quickly shuffling to the bathroom, in desperate need of a shower.

He turned it to blaring hot, just the way he liked them bright and early; to wake himself up. As he washed his body, Louis’ mind kept wandered back to Harry. He was puzzled, but that was an understatement. He wasn’t exactly the nicest person to Harry since they met a couple years back. He was rude and obnoxious and down-right appalling sometimes. Thinking back, Louis wondered how Harry even took it. No wonder they fought all the times, Harry must have absolutely hated him.

Except, Louis didn’t think he did. Over those years of living under the same roof, sitting at the same dinner table and even going to the same high school, Louis knew deep down, he wouldn’t let anyone hurt Harry. It was evident just this past week. But he just didn’t understand Harry anymore.

They would pointedly ignore each other. And sure, that was fine by Louis. But he shocked himself by crawling into bed with him. And Harry not being there when he woke up made it even worse. Did Louis make a mistake? He wasn’t exactly positive with that fact. As he towelled the leftover water off his body, he heard the main door of the dorm room slam shut. Louis quickly put a towel around his waist and peeked out to see Harry pacing in their small kitchenette.

“Harry?”

The younger boy’s eyes snapped up, like a deer caught in the headlights of a fast car. He bit his lip before turning his body away from the bathroom door and Louis. Louis frowned, but continued to open the door and step out.

“Harry?” He asked again. He saw Harry peer around the room, scanning his surroundings fairly quickly.

“I don’t want to talk, Louis.”

That’s all the boy said before he raced back out of the dorm, slamming the door once again. Louis cringed slightly at the sound, more confused than ever.

—x—

He tossed and turned, but he couldn’t get comfortable in his own bed. Louis sighed, throwing his arms up in protest of his mind. He couldn’t shut it off. It bothered him. Harry hasn’t spoken to him in two weeks. Two weeks, just after they shared the same bed for the night. Yet, every night after that, Harry comes ambling into the room, asking to sleep in Louis’ bed, because he has a hard time sleeping and apparently, he only gets a good night’s rest when Louis is around. 

Louis tried so hard but everything these days were just so damn difficult and going to class and keeping up with the reading material just made matters worse. Oh wait, one thing that killed it though, was the fact that final examinations were starting exactly a week from that night. Louis wasn’t ready, far from it.

The school knew about Harry and his situation, so he has a two week grace period where he doesn’t have to write any exams, as per police orders until he came in for questioning, both for his mental and physical capabilities.

It seemed like hours before Louis even shut his eyes again, but he wouldn’t doubt that it was just a few minutes in the real world. He was almost peacefully asleep, when he heard the bedroom door creek open. He kept his eyes closed, he knew it was Harry. But after what he did, although he sort of understood, he actually didn’t.

“Louis?” Harry whispered. “Louis, I can’t sleep. Can I come in with you, please?”

His voice sounded so small and Louis couldn’t help open his eyes, sigh and move his body to the other side of his bed so Harry could crawl in with comfortable ease. After Harry was settled in, he pulled Louis’ arm, to the same position they were in nights past. Louis slid his arm up Harry’s, stroking softly, hearing the loud, quick thumps of Harry’s heartbeat in his ear. 

He did nothing but caress Harry’s arm, pulling his hand down to meet his cracked lips, kissing the front of the younger boy’s hand in hopes of calming him down. 

“Mmm,” Harry mumbled, letting Louis play with his fingers. He’s gotten so comfortable again with another boy, albeit his step-brother, that he was sure that people would call it progress. Louis wasn’t sure Harry was in the right state of mind when he was thinking it, but he was not going to argue.

Louis knew there was something on Harry’s mind. His heartbeat wouldn’t calm down and he was much more restless than usual. “Spit it out, Harry. What do you have to say?”

“Go ahead and say it, Louis. I know you really want to. I think I’m ready to hear it,” Harry murmured, eyes trained on the ceiling. 

“What, the whole, I told you so?” Louis spoke back, just as quietly. He shook his head as best he could as it rested on Harry’s chest. “Harry, no. I can’t say that.”

“You told me before all this happened to be careful and tha-that he was bad news. I should have trusted you and believed you, I’m sorry, Louis. I’m sorry,” Harry’s voice cracked repeatedly. 

“Please don’t apologize, Harry. I beg of you, don’t.”

“I feel as though I have to. You were looking out for me. I didn’t see it then, I see it now. Why? Why did you do that, Louis?” Harry left Louis’ arms, propping himself up on his elbow to face the older boy. “I don’t get it. You were nothing but horrid to me and I-”

“I’m aware that I was complete shit to you. And back then, I knew he was a dick, oh my god Harry, did I ever. And I think at first I was more worried about pissing you off more than anything, because that’s what I did. But after thinking through stuff and talking to your mom, my friends, I sort of came to the conclusion about something,” Louis paused. Harry had an intense look on his face, but he refrained from saying anything. “Don’t ask me how, when, why or where, but I began to, deep down, care for you Harry. For what happened to you. I’m not sure how to explain it.”

Harry flushed, the moonlight on his face from Louis’ window. “I- really don’t know what to say to that.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I just recently accepted it. You do not even want to know how hard I was trying to fight that feeling off, avoiding you, giving you glares. All like I normally did,” Louis licked his lips. “Oh, I really shouldn’t have said anything?”

It came out as more of a question, wondering what Harry was thinking. He only seemed to talk in bed, in the dark of night. It was fine with Louis, at least he was saying something, but he knew sooner or later, things had to change.

“How do you care about me, Louis?” Harry asked cryptically. Louis frowned.

“I’m not sure I get what you mean…” Louis trailed off, searching Harry’s eyes for some sort of clue, but he fell short awfully quick.

“Nevermind,” Harry sighed, falling back down to stare at the ceiling. “I’m tired, I think I’m going to close my eyes now.”

“Wait, Harry.”

“Yeah?” Harry peeked his one eye open. Louis moved to Harry’s hand again, like always.

“I just want to say, I’m sorry too. For years of stupid fights and, yeah. We could have been the best of friends I think, thinking back to high school and stuff. We could have gotten along. We get along a bit better now, but I’m so sorry Harry. I might have been a little harsh and made your life an absolute shit hole.”

“That’s the way we were,” Harry responded simply. “We can’t change it now and there is no point in saying sorry, just like me apparently…”

“You don’t have to feel sorry because at that point, I was doing it for all the wrong reasons. I still didn’t like the guy and his values no matter what though,” Louis whispered, feathering his fingers down Harry’s chest. “Okay, we can talk more in the morning.”

“Yeah, I’m sleepy,” Harry yawned. “Night.”

Louis shifted his head, planting his lips on the side of Harry’s forehead. “Night.”

“Do that again,” Harry mumbled.

“What, kiss your forehead?”

“Yeah.”

Louis did it again, lingering slightly longer than before. 

“Better?” He asked cheekily. Harry nodded, smiling.

“Perfect,” Harry sighed. “I care about you too, Louis. Just thought I’d say that.”

Louis closed his eyes before whispering, “I’m never going to let anybody hurt you, Harry. I never noticed it before, but you are too important to me and I think Anne would have my head, to be completely honest.”

Harry chuckled lowly. “Sounds like mum. Always that way, yeah?”

Louis reminded himself that Harry doesn’t know that Anne knows. She’s been in contact with the police down in Manchester and she’s doing everything to stay out of it until Harry himself goes to her and tells her everything she already knew. Louis was going to respect that relationship; Harry has to deal with this on his own time.


	11. Chapter 11

Finals started tomorrow. It made Louis beyond nervous. But also sort of excited that his first term of university was done. Thankfully, most of his exams were near the end of the examination period so he had time to study, but he was mostly worried about Harry. Apart from the two classes that they shared together, Harry had three exams within the next three days; he hasn’t even started to study whatsoever and Louis knew this wasn’t like Harry. They’ve been avoiding the world together; it wasn’t healthy.

 

He tried to get him to talk to Anne. Maybe his mother would snap him out of it. Harry shrugged him off though and went back to ignoring everything. Sometimes he would come out and sit with Louis at the kitchen table as Louis struggled through his exam prep. It was also the fist time he heard Harry’s laugh in a week, so that was encouraging; even if it was at the expense of himself. He was getting a little better though. Louis guessed that’s all he could ask for.

 

He felt as though he hadn’t talked to Liam and Zayn in a coons age; there was some truth to that sentence. Other than class, Louis hadn’t had any social time with his only two good friends. So when Zayn texted him earlier that morning asking if he wanted to go out, he was going to take him up on that offer. Plus, Liam threatened him (nicely albeit) that if he didn’t come, there was a chance he was going to get hit. 

 

He was going to meet them down at the campus bar for a few shots. Zayn said that it was their last time before they had to actually do work and study. Louis rolled his eyes. Zayn was always doing his work, even if he played it off as though he didn’t. 

 

Louis popped his head in Harry’s room just before he left. “Hey Haz, I’m going out for a few. I won’t be long. You’ll be alright, yeah?”

 

Harry looked up from his hands and gave him a small smile. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. I’m not a baby.”

 

“Didn’t say you were,” Louis muttered. “Call me if you need anything, alright?”

 

“Just go, I know you’re dying to leave,” Harry teased lightly before he bent down beside his bed and grabbed a textbook. “I’m going to study, I guess?”

 

“Leaving that to the last minute, don’t you think Harry?” Louis shook his head, but he still kept a smile on his face. Harry shrugged his shoulders.

 

“I’ll probably get better marks in the classes we have together, you shouldn’t be talking, mate.”

 

“Wow,” Louis grabbed his chest. “That hurt.”

 

“Get out of here, Louis.”

 

Louis grinned, turning on his heel but he stopped himself before he was completely out the door. “I’m glad you’re starting to sound better, Harry.”

 

Harry met him with a blank look after Louis closed the door.

 

—xx—

 

Zayn and Liam were absolutely plastered. When Louis arrived, they were already three shots into their night and there was no signs of stopping. Zayn flagged down the bartender as soon as he laid eyes of Louis and demanded, in a typical Zayn voice, “get my mate here four topped up shots, vodka.”

 

Louis hadn’t been out drinking for almost a month now. It was possibly a record for him ever since he started drinking alcohol. He gave an apprehensive look to the glasses in front of him. Liam smacked his shoulder, encouragingly. “C’mon Lou, let’s have some fun!”

 

Louis smiled, grabbing the first shot glass and knocking it back immediately. He winced, the burn down his throat was intense as always. 

 

“That’a boy,” Zayn said proudly. “Let’s go find some…people to dance with.”

 

Zayn grabbed Liam’s hand and took him out onto the tiny club floor. This wasn’t exactly the most prestigious place; it was sort of dingy and dirty, but it was the closest bar to Manchester without an outrageous cab fare and it was right there on campus. Louis watched him go, sighing loudly. He felt a tap on his back and he moved slowly, turning to find a girl standing there, tall and skinny. Everything a boy would be looking for.

 

“You looked lonely,” she smiled, holding out her hand. “Eleanor.”

 

“I’m Louis,” he said as he shook her hand. 

 

“Are those shots yours?” She questioned, a small twinge in her eyebrows as she nodded towards the bar.

 

“Yeah, I’m not really in the mood. Want one? My mate bought them for me so it’ll be our little secret,” Louis said as he shifted one of the glasses in front of her.

 

“Well, I’m not drinking this one unless you drink one with me. Just one,” Eleanor smiled as he took the glass in her dainty hands. Louis took one of the remaining shots and signalled his readiness. “One, two, three.”

 

They both tipped the glass and let it slide down their throats. The two were silent for a moment. “I think you’re in my anthropology class.”

 

Louis turned and gave her a look. “Uh, sorry. I have never seen you before.”

 

“No, no. It’s okay. I just-I’m almost positive that I see you around quite a bit and I just remembered. You’re in one of my classes,” Eleanor tugged her mouth into a smile. “You’re never paying attention.”

 

“Wow, you watch me?” Louis asked, jokingly. Eleanor rolled her eyes.

 

“You are always staring at that one other boy…” She trailed off, looking through her eyelashes nervously.

 

“What boy?”

 

“Uh…I couldn’t tell you his name, but he has this weird head of hair, very curly,” Eleanor looked up thinking. “Very cute as well.”

 

Her eyes are twinkling with mischief. Louis looked at her with his mouth ajar. “I see, you want me to hook him up with you?”

 

He didn’t sound hurt, he was just getting confused with this girl’s ulterior motive; if she had one that is. Eleanor giggled and grabbed his wrist. “You’re hilarious.”

 

“Thanks?” He answered uneasily. 

 

“Oh, you don’t understand what I’m trying to say, do you? You are almost as dense as my best friend,” Eleanor rambled.

 

“I hardly know you, Eleanor,” Louis said pointedly. “What are you trying to say?”

 

“I make it my mission…I guess you could say, to bring people together. I think you two would be absolutely ad-”

 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. You came up to me tonight because you think I need help getting Harry’s attention?” Louis asked incredulously.

 

“Harry! That’s his name,” She’s smiling wide now, her hand still resting on Louis’ wrist. “You actually think I came up to talk to you because I’m interested in you?”

 

Louis’ mouth dropped. “What the fuck is that suppose to mean?”

 

“All I’m going to say is I could never compete with this curly-haired boy your sights are on,” Eleanor replied quickly. “It’s quite obvious.”

 

“Obvious!?” Louis nearly shouted, his face beat red, heart beating fast.

 

“Yeah, how could I even step in that way of that? It’s clear you like him much more than you think,” Eleanor shrugged again. “So, what do you say?”

 

“I say I need to get out of here, I feel like I’m going to be sick,” Louis grabbed his stomach. 

 

“Louis, I-”

 

“No, it’s fine. I just…don’t feel well anymore. I should head back to my room anyways, it’s getting late.”

 

“It’s only nine, Louis,” Eleanor pointed out. “But I guess I understand. Can I have that last shot?”

 

“Yeah, just make sure Zayn doesn’t see, my mate, he’ll kill me if he knew I didn’t actually drink all four,” Louis said, looking around the room. “Which reminds me. I should find him and tell him I’m off.”

 

“I’ll see you at the anthro exam, I guess,” Eleanor responded. “Maybe we could study together sometime before then?”

 

“Yeah sure, Eleanor. I-I need to go now though,” Louis gave her a tentative smile. Eleanor gave him a small wave before he was off to find Zayn in the crowd of people.

 

Obvious? What?

 

—x—

 

Louis walked with virtually no trouble back to his building. Zayn wasn’t exactly happy that he was leaving but he had Liam so it wasn’t a huge deal. At least they saw each other for a moment; literally a moment.

 

The moment he opened the door, he heard them. He rushed in, throwing his keys on the kitchen table and pushing Harry’s door open. “Harry? Harry.”

 

Louis saw the boy curled up into a little ball, a completely different position he was in when Louis left him. Louis fell to his knees beside the bed. “Harry, what’s wrong?”

 

“Louis!” Harry launched himself at the older boy, nuzzling his cheek into Louis’ neck, tears still spilling out stupidly. 

 

“What’s wrong, Haz?” Louis asked as he pet his hair and rubbing his back, sighing. 

 

Harry didn’t respond but hugged his body tighter. “Please tell me, Harry.”

 

“I don’t like being alone,” Harry said quietly, hiccupping and crazy with crying. He moved his head to look at Louis’ face. “I’m so, so sorry I’m fucked up. You don’t deserve this and how fucked up this is. I understand if you want to go.”

 

“Harry, no. No, I don’t care how fucked up you are. No scratch that, you are far from fucked up. This world is fucked. And don’t say anything about deserving anybody. I’m here and you’re here and we’re family. This is what we do,” Louis whispered. He carded his fingers through Harry’s matted hair.

 

“I don’t want to drag you down, Lou. You-”

 

“Harry, stop. We’re family,” Louis winced. “Please just let me do this and don’t feel guilty. I want to do this and be there for you.” 

 

“Since when did we care about each other?” Harry asked quietly, giggling a little as he shifted his weight off of Louis. He groaned and took a deep breath.

 

“There we go, all nice and calm now?” Louis said carefully, smiling slightly. Harry nodded. “You care about me Hazza?”

 

Louis meant it as a joke, a tiny jab to get Harry smiling. Harry looked at him calculated however, his face concerned. “Yeah, I said it before too, y’know?”

 

“Yeah, but it’s us. I don’t know whether or not you’re just trying to pull my leg,” Louis kept his voice low. “I guess I believe you now though.”

 

“You better,” Harry said. Louis moved and kissed Harry’s forehead.

 

“Of course. We’re family, right?”

 

“That’s not what I meant, Louis,” Harry replied, grunting and shaking his head. “You keep bringing up family, s’weird.”

 

“’Cause that’s what we are, ye-”

 

“Louis, shut up. We are far from family,” Harry said. Louis let out the air he was holding. Louis moved to kiss his forehead again. But Harry moved and kissed Louis’ forehead first.

 

Louis chuckled a bit, kissing Harry’s cheek. Harry looked away shy for a second before he mimicked Louis’ movements, placing his lips softly on Louis’ cheek. He pulled back and immediately Louis licked his lips. He leant in and quickly pecked the soft skin beside Harry’s lips. He felt Harry stop, frozen.

 

Louis didn’t shift too far away. He looked right in Harry’s eyes, concentrated and oh-so green. He licked his lips again. “I might just do something very, very stu-”

 

“I want you to,” Harry replied quickly, cutting Louis off. Louis gulped. 

 

“Are you sure?” Louis whispered, his eyes trailing down Harry’s face.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Yeah, okay,” Louis whispered, mostly to himself. He kissed Harry’s cheek again, his forehead, the corner of his lips, before he was surprised himself. Harry leant forward, connecting their lips chastely, cautiously testing the waters. His impatience got the best of him and it nearly made Louis’ heart burst out of his chest from shock. He pulled back.

 

“Oh god-”

 

“Shut up, Lou. We’re far from family,” Harry whispered, repeating himself again. Louis whimpered submissively before he couldn’t resist the urge any longer and caught Harry’s lips between his own again.


	12. Chapter 11

“Harry! Hurry up, we want to beat the traffic out of here!” Louis shouted from their small kitchenette in the dorm. 

 

Trying to pack up all of their stuff again to bring home was such a pain. It was Christmas Break, all the exams were done and they were free to leave for a couple weeks. Except, Louis and Harry were leaving forever. Well, not the university as a whole, just the dorm room. 

 

Maybe it was because Anne was a little overprotective, but Louis agreed. As far as Harry knew, his mother didn’t know yet, so Louis had to pull some strings and make it seem like it was all his plan. He was the one who suggested it, but he never thought Harry’s mom and his dad would agree after paying for the dorm for the rest of the year.

 

But it happened. And now Louis and Harry (Anne and Mark) were the proud owners of a small apartment just 15 minutes from the university. Harry was ecstatic for many reasons, but mainly just one. Louis was relieved that it was a mutual decision in the end because he didn’t want to force anything.

 

They were just dropping their stuff off there and heading back to their parents place for a well-deserved visit. They were both beginning to become very homesick, as if it didn’t already happen, and they had weeks to their family.

 

“Give a second, Jesus, Louis!” Harry yelled back from his closed door. Louis rolled his eyes as he put the last of his suitcases in the trolley by the front door.

 

“Do you need help?” Louis asked just as he was opening the door.

 

“No! No!” Harry said, but the two made eye contact and Louis burst into a fit of giggles.

 

Harry was sitting on his suitcase, closed but not zipped up, trying to fit all of his belongings into one suitcase. Louis walked over and bent down to kiss Harry’s nose.

 

“You are so cute, Haz. If you needed another luggage bag, I have an extra,” Louis gestured to the other room. 

 

“Well, you could have told me that!” Harry pouted, standing up. The contents of the suitcase sprang the top open and clothes flew everywhere. Harry blushed and turned to Louis. “Do you have an extra bag I could use?”

 

“Hmm…I’m not sure. I may have on-” 

 

Harry threw his arms around Louis’ middle and squeezed hard, burying his head into Louis’ neck. “Please?”

 

Louis grinned, “I could give it to you.”

 

“You should give it to me,” Harry whispered. 

 

“And why is that, Harry?”

 

“Because,” Harry kissed Louis’ neck, just below the earlobe. “I need it and you want to get a move on here, right?”

 

“Yes, yes I do,” Louis took himself out of Harry’s arms and left the room quickly, trying not to show him that it affected him so much. The suitcase was fairly small, enough to fit the extra jumpers Harry collected over the semester into. He moved back to Harry’s room, which was still a mess. “I wanted to get out of here 10 minutes ago but that doesn’t look like it’s happening.”

 

“Well…you could help me, you twat,” Harry said as he took the bag from the older boy. He immediately began to throw random items in the bag. “Don’t just stand there!”

 

“Bossy, aren’t we?”

 

“Dominant is the better word,” Harry prodded, giggling at his words. Louis’ mouth dropped.

 

“You are too cute to be dominant!”

 

“And you are too small to be dominant!” Harry argued back. “Are we really talking about this right now?”

 

“No.”

 

“Good, ‘cause I’m the dominant one obviously. Could you grab that shirt over by the chair?” Harry pointed and went back to packing. Louis let his whole argument slip by but he wasn’t going to let Harry forget about it later.

 

As soon as their car was packed up, they drove to the quaint little apartment. Louis sighed, realizing that there was going to be multiple trips and they were almost on the top floor. Harry just giggled and rolled his eyes, shoving a bag into the older boy’s arms, “Don’t be lazy, Lou. Let’s get this done.”

 

“Now whose the impatient one?” Louis countered, but nonetheless followed Harry to the elevator. 

 

“Well, we do have a little time before we head to Mum and Mark’s,” Harry said, trailing his voice. Louis raised his eyebrows and smirked at Harry. “What?”

 

“Are you suggesting what I think you are suggesting?” Louis asked, taking out the keys from his pocket and unlocking the door, pushing it open. Harry didn’t respond, just pressed his way through and throwing the bags to the side of the room. 

 

“I’m not suggesting anything,” Harry responded coyly. “We have furniture.”

 

“Yes, Harry. That is what an apartment has or else it’s pretty useless.”

 

“Yeah, yeah. This couch is comfortable,” Harry said immediately as he plopped his small frame there. “Join me?”

 

“We need to get the rest of our stuff, Harry! This isn’t a time for a nap,” Louis said, watching the curly-haired boy carefully. “Promise if we do this that we get the rest of our stuff right away?”

 

“I knew I could get you to join me,” Harry smiled easily, patting his stomach, indicating Louis to come. “Come have a lay, Lou.”

 

“It’s all your curls, they are seducing me,” Louis said lowly as he stepped closer. But Harry was impatient and took Louis’ wrist and pulling him on top of him. They both moaned in discontent at the sudden change. They moved their limbs around before the two found a comfortable position, Louis’ legs straddling one of Harry’s and his head in the crook of his neck, just so Louis could snuggle in nicely. 

 

“S’comfy,” Harry mumbled into Louis’ hair. “Don’t move, please.”

 

Louis didn’t want to either. But when his eyes slowly fluttered closed against Harry’s chest, the constant rhythm of his heartbeat soothing him to sleep, he wasn’t struggling with himself to do anything about it. 

 

Louis had awoken to a loud ringing noise, in a truly snug position. As far as that horrid ringing, it was his phone and it was blaring. He picked it and…was that 9:30? He jumped up, crushing Harry’s lower legs in the process.

 

“Oof-Louis, what the fuck,” Harry groaned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. 

 

“Harry, it’s half past nine.”

 

“So? You-Oh. Uh…” Harry shuffled to a sitting position. “Oops?”

 

“Oops is right,” Louis clicked the answer button and held the phone to his ear. “Hello?”

 

Harry watched Louis’ reactions to the phone call. Slightly offended, maybe a little scared.

 

“Yes. Uh-we fell asleep. I know, it’s Harry’s fault! We got to the apartment and the couch you got us looked comfortable so we had a lay…and here we are,” Louis responded sheepishly. “I’m sorry, Anne. We can be on the road in 20 minutes, I swear.”

 

“Yes…yeah,” Louis grimaced. “Harry says sorry too I’m sure, the little twat.”

 

“Hey!” Harry exclaimed. 

 

“Anyways, we are leaving,” Louis said. “Yes, see you soon. Bye.”

 

Louis turned off the phone and dropped it on his lap. He threw his head back and sighed. “Your mum is a little pissed. Uh- we were suppose to be there seven hours ago. Apparently she’s been calling for a while now but I only heard it this time. Remind me how we managed to sleep that long.”

 

The older boy groaned, and turned to Harry. Harry gave him a small smile. “Uh-well, we weren’t actually suppose to fall asleep? But we did? So…uh…maybe we should go now?”

 

“Right, but I need some tea from down the road before we go and don’t complain,” Louis said before Harry even opened his mouth. “Your mum thinks we will be there at midnight, so we have to get out asses moving, Haz.”

 

—xx—

 

By the time the boys got back home, but nine hours later than they were intending to, they were…well tired again. Harry had to keep Louis from falling asleep at the wheel, the only way he knew how.

 

By throwing crisps at him, of course.

 

Well, he tried to kiss him too, but Louis was pushing him off because he could hardly concentrate on the road. Naturally, Harry pouted at first but he knew he could get him back. The bag of crisps in the back of their small car was his perfect ammo and now Louis couldn’t say anything because he didn’t have the heart to reject him a second time.

 

As Louis and Harry climbed out of the car, Anne was already out on the porch in her robe waiting for them to get to the front door. She had a teary smile when she saw her son and Louis. And so did Harry because he ran straight to her and picked her up and spun her around.

 

“Harry!” Anne squealed as she was lifted. Harry set her down carefully, giving her a peck on the cheek with that little smile on his face. 

 

“Hi mum.”

 

“Hey Anne,” Louis supplied right after. Anne turned and gave an appreciative smile towards the older boy.

 

“Harry, you got so big. What happened!” Anne said as she inspected her son. “You grew like a foot since you left.”

 

Harry turned to Louis and gave him a puzzled look. “Uh-I…never really noticed? I guess.”

 

“You have grown, Haz. You are taller than me, you goof,” Louis rolled his eyes. “So, is my dad awake?”

 

“He’s in the bedroom, if you want to go up and say hi. But don’t expect him to be awake, he was passing out on the chesterfield at half past seven. We had barely finished dinner, which by the way, you missed boys,” Anne gave them a stern look but smiled straight away. “Oh, I missed you guys. But let’s go inside because it’s absolutely freezing out here.”

 

Anne ushered them in, and closed the door behind them. “Which reminds me. Now that I know you are here safe and sound, I think I’m going to go to sleep now.”

 

“Uhm-oh. Okay mum. I’ll talk to you in the morning then?” Harry asked weakly. Anne nodded and rubbed her palm against Harry’s cheek, before walking up the stairs.

 

As soon as Anne was safely in her bedroom, Harry turned to Louis. “I can’t sleep alone, Lou. What am I going to do?”

 

“You can stay in mine? You’d have to set an alarm so you can crawl out and go to your room. You know, mess it up a bit, pretend you slept there…” Louis trailed off. “Feels weird, you know? We have to sneak around, s’different.”

 

“I…don’t know if they would accept us, Louis. That’s what’s so scary. I don’t know what to do,” Harry bit his lip. “What…”

 

“Shh, Haz. We can talk about this later. Let’s just hit the hay, I’m tired, yeah?” Louis grabbed Harry’s wrist gently, pulling him towards him and putting his arms around the taller boy. “Calm down and let’s get some sleep.”

 

“Yeah,” Harry mumbled in Louis‘ neck. “Okay.”

 

It wasn’t like he didn’t try to sleep. Because he did. With Louis’ warm body because him, he was quite used to this position by now. But knowing Anne and Mark were only feet away, possibly catching them in a position like this…where they left thinking they were terrible to each other? What did this look like?

 

It terrified Harry to even think…he didn’t even know he was completely gay until this year. His mother knew he had some run-ins with boys and…well, this whole relationship with a boy is new. So new that it scared him. So scared that he couldn’t sleep. And that boy? His step-brother? Could he even be accepted? Could Louis? It was clear he wasn’t sleeping, he didn’t even think about this until the moment he saw his mother that night. 

 

So, he pulled Louis closer to him, rubbing his nose in the older boy’s feathery hair, ghosting his fingers across Louis’ bare stomach, just trying to calm himself down. He sighed, closing his eyes for the sixth time that night, but didn’t even try to rid his mind of his thoughts.


	13. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we see Harry's insecurities really come out. Just when you think he's confident enough with himself and Louis...

The bedroom situation went off without a hitch the next morning. Harry set his phone right by his ear, careful not to set it so loud to wake Louis. He gave him a quick peck on the cheek before sliding out of bed and into his room down the hall. He didn’t go back to sleep.

 

He stared at his ceiling, his desk, his bed sheets. Anything to keep him from thinking about Sean. It had been a month since the attack, 2 weeks since Louis had been there every step of the way. He felt awful that he had yet to tell his mother, who has always been his best friend, no matter what. His close relationship with her caused him to feel even more guilty that she doesn’t know of what almost happened to him.

 

He had not seen a counsellor, apart from a quick visit from the police, who was hardly helpful. Thank god he was of legal age that his parents were not called because he was almost positive that he wouldn’t have finished the term; his mum and Mark would have pulled him out, he was sure of it. But Harry wasn’t like that.

 

Harry wanted to learn, he liked to go to class. Yes, he was not trying hard lately, very shaken up and overall, what some may call, on the verge of a depressive breakdown. He knew. It wasn’t a surprise that even through all of this, even without studying all that much, he still recalled much of his lectures so he was able to pass his exams with flying colours. Well…he didn’t know his grades yet, but he was almost positive that he did decently. He wasn’t sure how or why, but he knew his limits and well, Sean defined his to a certain extent, he guessed.

 

Harry heard his door clicked open and pretended to be sleeping, mumbling something incoherently as to fide off the intruder. It didn’t happen though because suddenly, he had two girls jumping on top of him, screaming in his ear. “HARRY, HARRY, YOU AND LOU ARE HOME, COME MAKE US BREAKFAST, WE MISS YOUR PANCAKES. PLEASE, HARRY! PLEASE!”

 

“Hey!” Another voice came from beyond the door. “I make some pretty good pancakes too!”

 

Daisy and Phoebe giggled, kissing Harry’s cheeks as he lifted himself up into a seated position and his eyes locked with Louis.

 

“I just got the same treatment about two minutes ago, mate. But apparently, I can’t make pancakes, so you better get your arse out of bed and make us all some, yeah?” Louis winked as he walked in, grabbing one of the twins and twirling her around. “I missed you rugrats.”

 

“I missed you too, Louis,” Daisy said from Harry’s side. Harry grinned as Phoebe, in Louis’ arms, became upset. 

 

“Yeah, well. I missed Harry too!” she said stubbornly. “Louis, put me down!”

 

“Where’s Lottie?” Harry mumbled, yawning loudly. Still trying to play up the act, of course. 

 

“Around, I’m sure. Maybe still asleep. It’s only…what eight?” Louis responded as he swooped his younger sister down. “You know teenagers, right?”

 

“Shut up, Lou. You slept the longest in this house, so you have no right to say anything,” Harry quipped back, rolling his eyes. “So girls, breakfast? Give me a minute though so I can get changed. Okay?”

 

The girls squealed and ran out of the room excitedly. Louis turned around and closed the door, sighing loudly. “Didn’t hear you get out of bed this morning.”

 

“That was the point, wasn’t it? If I didn‘t wake you, I definitely didn‘t wake anybody else in this house,” Harry said as climbed out of bed. He searched his drawers for a pair of trousers. He felt a pair of warm arms circle around his middle not seconds later and he leant back into the embrace. “Girls are going to wonder what’s taking me so long, you know.”

 

“They won’t even know what’s up,” Louis said as he pressed his lips to the swell on Harry’s neck, just under his earlobe. He tongued it slowly, placing open-mouthed kisses along the blushed flesh. Harry tilted his head to the side, allowing Louis to press even further with his warm lips. 

 

“How are we going to survive this week at home,” Harry mumbled, leaning all his weight back on the older boy. “We are never going to be alone, ever.”

 

“Well,” Louis pecked Harry’s red neck. “We could act…more open? If you ever conside-”

 

“I have, but. You remember what I said last night? I’m not…sure. About, y’know? Mum isn’t one to judge or anything. But Lou, you are my step-brother. We are family, I just…this wasn’t suppose to happen. We were suppose to hate each other for the rest of our lives, fighting at all the family reunions, your children calling me Uncle Harry, but…not like this. Not like when we are together like this…”

 

“Are you doubting this?” Louis asked quietly, turning Harry around by the shoulders. Harry was met with angry eyes.

 

“Lou-”

 

“God damn it, Harry. We aren’t family. We don’t share blood. We didn’t know each other until our parents met. What if they wouldn’t have met? Then what? We could have met at university or on the street in a cute café on the corner of Main Street. It doesn’t matter that our parents are married, it doesn’t. I’m just so frustrated that you are scared to even be with me,” Louis sighed, gulping and running a hand through his hair. Harry licked his lips, with tears in his eyes.

 

“I…”

 

“Shit Harry, I don’t mean it like that. Shit, Harry. I’m so sorry, babe,” Louis took Harry’s face in his hands. “Fuck Harry.”

 

“I’m going to make the girls pancakes now,” Harry said monotonous. “Out of all the people in this world, I thought you would be the one to understand. But I guess that doesn’t even matter. Now, if you would excuse me.”

 

Harry pushed Louis away, wiping a tear from his eye before opening his bedroom door. Louis grabbed Harry’s forearm. “Haz, please.”

 

“I don’t get it, Louis. You help me and you know. You know that I’m still getting over being attacked. I’m insecure, yes I am. I knew that about myself. I also knew that I had never been in a proper relationship. Fuck, not even properly kissed before Sean. I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing. He made me feel good about myself. And then he turned. And you were there,” Harry sighed.

 

“Har-”

 

“And then you were there. Every night, protecting me. And I always knew, always. Deep down, that I thought you were so pretty, so fucking hot. But, I could never. Never in my life do that to you, tell you the truth. We fought all the time and we are step-brothers. That’s the way we should always be. But that night, when you told me I wasn’t fucked up? And then you looked into my eyes and then that’s when you said…”

 

“You didn’t stop me,” Louis whispered, taking a step closer and wiping a tear that came from Harry’s eye. 

 

“I didn’t stop you. That was the first time in weeks I felt comfortable with myself, even though I had you every night. I pushed that feeling away, that ache in my heart saying, this is wrong,” Harry sniffed. 

 

“So, it’s true. You don’t want to continue what we are doing?” Louis asked, desperately clinging to every word. He felt his knees go weak and his throat go dry. 

 

“I can’t do it to our family, Louis,” Harry sputtered, crying. “And I trust you with my life. I can’t let you hurt me.”

 

“Fuck Harry. I would never. Do you realize what I’ve been doing with you? I would never do that with anyone else. I care about you far too much to hurt you. When we first met, of course I was going to be rude with you,” Louis cracked. “You know I’m a twat, you witnessed it first hand. You grew on me. You changed me. Please Harry, don’t.”

 

“I thought the same about Sean,” Harry murmured. 

 

“You are looping me into the same group as Sean?” Louis’ mouth dropped, angry tears spilling now. He tried to maintain his composure but that comment…

 

“No, no. I just…don’t want to start falling and…I…I don’t want to be hurt. I’m not meant to be in a relationship,” Harry hesitated. 

 

“You know what I’ve never told anybody? The fact that I’ve been hurt too. Not in the same way you have, but I was never the same after that. I put on that fake persona being all tough and badass, but I’m not that person, Harry. Sure, I thought I was in love and that person ended up taking my heart and ripping it into a million pieces. And I never thought I could trust even myself to be in a relationship,” Louis finished, eyes downcast.

 

“I…don’t know what you want me to say to that,” Harry responded lowly. 

 

“What I’m trying to say is Harry. You are different. You made me realize that I could care again. It was possible that…I could be a better person. When you were hurting, it physically hurt me too. You have no idea. Please don’t do this to me.”

 

“Don’t turn this on me, Louis,” Harry frowned.

 

“I’m not, I’m just trying to make you see. I could never hurt you, because I know that feeling. I could never in my life do that to you,” Louis pleaded. He took Harry’s hand in his own. “Please.”

 

“I…” Harry started. “I’m going to make pancakes for the girls.”

 

“Harry-”

 

“I want to see our family, Louis,” Harry said sadly. 

 

“Fine,” Louis countered abruptly. Harry gave him one last look before he was out the door and down the stairs.

 

—xx—

 

“Harry,” Anne said quietly as she opened the door to the outdoor patio in their backyard. It’s nearly nine at night and Harry had barely spoken any words since his argument with Louis in the morning and his mum knew something was up but she wasn’t going to say anything until they were alone. 

 

“Hi mum,” Harry mumbled, looking up at the sky. 

 

“Bit nippy out, don’t you think?” Anne wrapped her arms around herself a little more but that didn’t stop her from sitting down beside Harry. 

 

“It’s fine,” Harry shrugged. “Thanks for dinner, it was great by the way. Been way too long since I had a meal like that.”

 

“No problem sweetie but you know why I’m out here,” Anne took her son’s hand. “You’ve been downright depressed since you got here and I know you’re quiet, but you were never like this.”

 

“Nothing is wrong.”

 

“You are an extremely bad liar, Harry. I’ve known you all my life, you know,” Anne gave him a grave smile. “Spill.”

 

“But…mum,” Harry pouted.

 

“Okay, you don’t have to tell me. But let me tell you this, I will be here for you no matter what happens to you in your life. You’re my son and if you are in trouble, I’ll be there. If you are sad, I’ll be there. Happy? Wonderful, I’ll be there and smile along with you,” Anne smiled again. “I love you, sweetie.”

 

“Something terrible happened,” Harry whispered, keeping his eyes down. He already felt the tears coming to his eyes. “And I…Louis has helped me. But…I feel like I’m all alone again.”

 

“What did Louis do?” Anne questioned, her voice raising slightly. She knew what happened, she made sure Harry didn’t know that she did. Harry confessing on his own time was what he would want, so Anne would let him have it. But if Louis did something awful…

 

“Nothing…he’s gone everything,” Harry said quickly. “Mum, I…”

 

“Take your time, hun.”

 

“I had a boyfriend. He treated me so well and asked to hang out after class, or study or just cuddle on the couch. It was nice. I‘ve never had a…partner before. And you knew I was…I liked boys, but I never actually dated one and uh, well. I thought I was in love,” Harry’s voice cracked.

 

“But you aren’t?”

 

“Not when he attacked me,” Harry sobbed. Anne immediately took her son in her arms.

 

“Oh Harry.”

 

“He…attacked me, Mum. I was almost raped and I…I…”

 

“Shh,” Anne soothed, patting Harry’s side, smoothing out his hair. All in an attempt to slow him down. It still hit her like a ton of bricks, this information, even though she was already informed of the situation. It still hurt her so much that she wasn’t there to do anything. The restless nights Anne had didn’t stop, constantly thinking of her son in Manchester, so close yet so far away.

 

“Louis helped me, you know,” Harry said, a few minutes later after his tears stopped and his hiccups subsided. Anne didn’t say anything, just continued to remain quiet as she heard Harry’s breathing slowly go back to normal.

 

“I wish you would have told me sooner, Harry. I could have helped, but thank god Louis was such a good big brother,” Anne kissed Harry’s cheek as she released him.

 

“No, he’s awful,” Harry licked his lips. “He was there, but he made me feel something I should never feel.”

 

The door slid open at that point and-

 

“Oops, oh. I’m sorry,” Louis, the intruder, said. “Shit, I’ll go. Sorry, sorry.”

 

“No, Lou. I need to talk to you, I’ll be up in a second,” Harry implored. Louis nodded, giving Anne a look, who just gave him the same look back.

 

“I would never judge you, Harry. And as I said, I’ll always be here for you…” Anne said, getting up. “You can talk out here boys. I’m going to snuggle into bed with my book. Harry, I…I love you. And we can talk more when you feel secure about it. Take your time, I’m just glad you told me.”

 

“Thanks Mum, I love you so much you know. I’m sorry,” Harry tightened his grip on his mother’s arm before letting her go as she got up. “I just didn’t want you to worry. I’m suppose to be an adult now. I thought I could take care of myself.”

 

“Of course you can. But if you want any professional help at all-”

 

“No. I’m not seeing a shrink,” Harry protested quickly. “I’m getting better already.”

 

“Okay hunny,” Anne gave Louis one more look. “Goodnight.”

 

“Night Anne,” Louis said in a whisper while Harry gave her a small wave. When Anne closed the door, Louis didn’t move for a couple more seconds before he knelt down in front of Harry. 

 

“How did your mom take it? Seemed well,” Louis mumbled, stroking Harry’s leg with his fingertips. 

 

“She didn’t seem…so surprised. I…it’s just weird. Maybe if we talk about it another time…” Harry looked down at his hands. “For me freaking out on you this morning, you are…calm with me.”

 

“I had time to think, Haz. And I know what I was asking is a lot,” Louis answered. “It’s a bit ridiculous.”

 

“I don’t know what I do without you and I was…just thinking that I should expect the unexpected, of some sort. I trust you, Lou. I said it this morning and I’ll say it everyday ‘til I die,” Harry sighed. “And I know I’m falling in love with you and you can’t blame me for trying to say its because of our parents. Fuck.”

 

“…Falling in love,” Louis’ eyes wondered to the small garden beside the patio. His knees gave out and he just planted his bum on the ground as he idled stared to the side.

 

“I know that’s not something you want to hear, Lou. But I guess I’ve come to realize that I get attached way too quickly, I’m clingy as fuck and I’m just a mess,” Harry looked down at Louis, who still wasn’t moving. “Louis?”

 

“You’re serious?”

 

“Didn’t think I stuttered that time,” Harry retorted quietly. Louis looked up at him, before getting up and taking Harry’s face between his hands. “Lou, what you asked isn’t ridiculous. It’s…me being me. I worry too much what others think and…I just. I just want you.”

 

“Oh thank god,” Louis said before pulling Harry closer, and kissing him. Harry automatically responds by changing the angle, gripping the back of Louis’ neck to deepen the kiss. Their tongues curl together, absorbing the small noises coming from both boys mouths. They stay like that for a while, settled into each other without a care.

 

Harry liked kissing Louis. He was always just careful enough with his lips and the pressure was just enough to send his head in a spin. Just the feeling got his heart racing and he liked being kept on his toes.

 

“Don’t change your mind,” Louis said as they part. Harry licked his lips, tasting Louis. He immediately wanted to kiss him again.

 

“I can’t promise that I won’t say something like that, I‘m going to doubt myself so much. I‘ll never doubt you though, ever. Lou, ever,” Harry gripped Louis’ neck a bit tighter, making sure Louis was looking right in his eyes as he continued to speak. “I can assure you right now that you should never let me go until you want to.”

 

“You aren’t getting rid of me that easily, Haz,” Louis pressed soft, open-mouthed kisses to Harry’s slack mouth as Harry let the last linger just a bit longer than usual. “And Harry?”

 

“Yeah, Lou?”

 

“I’m kind of, definitely falling in love with you too.”


End file.
